"and then brought me THAT vegan dessert"

It's based on Tarzan and the novel did the same. Maybe it's mocking that.

On the other hand, I admired the fact that she enjoyed putting on make up and dressing up in the absence of men.

He's already left the relationship. The only reason he's not saying so is because you're serving as a back up plan. Avoid, avoid.

This advice might not go down too well, but when I'm tired or depressed I'll make an effort to have sex with my boyfriend. Even if I'm not in the mood to start with, I get into it after a few minutes. You could just have really quick sex. I always feel better afterwards.

Go to psychotherapy. My taste in men was diabolical until I started it. I mean, to the extent that it was a running joke for over a decade and friends suggested I write a novel of anecdotes.

You sound pretty bitter about your friend (seemingly) being more attractive. I'm not kidding when I say that people pick up on resentment. Several times you felt the need to state that she's 'vapid' or 'not very intelligent.' Maybe you come across as someone who's stuck up?

I met my boyfriend on okcupid and googled him before the first date. I made a point of telling him this, after the fact. He found it pretty odd, to the extent that he told his friends about it.

I love that you remember that. Did you ever try Tubby Toast? M&S did it back then.

I can't stand this film. My boyfriend likes it. He also likes Girls and New Girl.

I know. Mid-way through reading this, I decided to put my duvet/quilt in the washing machine. I'm also OCD enough that I know I last washed it on the 7th this month...

There's nothing to worry about then.

It depends on whether or not you've had sex with him already. If the dates are just casual drinks, then he 'owes' you less contact.

I probably shouldn't admit this, but I genuinely like the Kardashians. I enjoy low brow television, ok?!

My sisters and I all had toy guns (machine and hand guns) as well as realistic looking plastic knives. I actually had a knife that looked like it stabbed people. This was alongside more wholesome toys like Barbies and Sylvanian Families.

Me too. They look like a more appropriate version of hotpants/shorts over tights.

It sounds like Queen Adreena's cover.

I think he's using it as an excuse. Sorry to be blunt, but he dumped you in a shitty way that was designed to make you feel guilty while making himself seem justified in changing his feelings.

I agree with you.

Are you being serious?