It is still not clear to the family how Malachi got his hands on the dangerous weapon. Stephens said that he got the gun from a friend who got it from someone else. Investigators are looking into finding out who originally had the gun and passed it to the friend, the news station notes.

What if the US isn’t the Jackson Five? What if it’s the Monkees, and California is Mike Nesmith?

And what exactly would the defense budget be for the People’s Republic Of California? And the troops and hardware come from where, again?

Hats off to you for knowing how to combine a common Brazilian gas station name and bro! Priceless. Maravilhoso!

Petrobrahs, brah.

There’s a level on which my favorite part of this is the official press release containing the sentence “We are not screwing around, Philly.”

It’s in the media village, so they clearly did their research and discovered zero is the number of condoms most reporters will need.

New phone who dis?

lol

“I can’t swim! I can’t swim!”

So its next port-of-call would be a Boaty call?

Editor status at any Gawker, inc subsidiary now comes with a $422,909 “contribution” required. And a job length expectation of 1.5 months.

Is it McFloatface or McBoatface? I’m on board either way, but you spell it one way in the article and the other in the quote. You also use RSS instead of RRS repeatedly.

Not that I can recall. Privately, however, I can think of one, perhaps.

This is tasteless and I don’t care for it. My infant daughters saw that image and now they’re all screaming in unison. Thanks, Deadspin.

Judging from that photo, I think it’s safe to say that Chip is finally ready to take over Callahan Auto.

Are Seahawks fans quickly becoming the #BestFansInBaseball of the NFL?

Sometimes what doesnt kill you probably should have just killed you.

Was that famed Deadspin man Tommy Craggs in the video?