I have already applied for a contingency day for Wednesday. I applied on the first day of work after summer break, August 28th. Dubai is nine hours ahead of the East coast so I won’t know shit all about the resulst until Wednesday morning or early afternoon. So my plan is to take a few more Ritalin than usual and stay…

Such a wrong time to be pregnant friends, such a wrong time.

Do you want to tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing?!

I’m choosing to believe my days blogging about Trump are numbered (I need to for my sanity), so I’m going for broke.

Shiplap: Check. Giant clock: Check. Gratuitous family scene: Check. My work here is done.

The tell-all books after this campaign is over are going to be amazing.

On this the final weekend before the big election, I just want to wish all the Americans here Good Luck.

My favorite part of this column is looking for my favorite piece of shade in the piece. “Mariah Carey posted a picture of herself and Stella’s cheek.”

Tea Kettle... Tea kettle?

I’m pretty sure that if you say the name “Wallis Simpson” three times into a mirror at Buckingham Palace, the ghost of the Queen Mum appears and beats you to death with an bespoke umbrella

Last weekend I posted the in progress of baby girl’s costume based on Katya from RuPaul’s Drag Race. Here’s the final product

Except she isn’t talking to us, Amy. You and I are not the ladies that are being called to get in formation.

Correction: As this case has just proved, it’s not terrorism if you are white.

Chicago speaks to my misandry like very few other musicals can.

Sweaters and sweatshirts are both wrong. #TeamJumpers.

I would love to see her come back in a few years and be US President herself in 2024 maybe? Or, she can come over here and be UK Prime Minister, as soon as she likes, we could do with the help.

“I’m so very sorry, but when we were stitching you up Dr. WTF sewed his finger to your labia. It didn’t worsen the tear, but fluids mixed and we do need to do an HIV test. After we re-sew.”

Okay so it’s not really “gross” and I probably told this story before, but it’s still hilarious to me.

I’m making a “yikes” face at this story, not at your actions, but at the bit in this story where it seems no one cleared this with you ahead of time and just assumed you’d be okay sharing a bed. That’s just strange, and would be even if you were a sibling rather than a cousin.

No kidding. As if she needed to do anything more than post a nude or nude-ish picture on Instagram for attention. And I think it’s pretty fair to guess that’s what she’d do if she wanted attention, because she’s done it before.