My guess is this: They had a fight about something — anything — and both guys have plausible arguments that the other guy started it or touched him first. Paul gets beaten up badly and is embarrassed, but frames it as an attack and hopes it goes away. But when it turns out that his injuries are pretty severe and that…

You’re wrong and you deserve to die.

So much economic anxiety!

What the fuck is a Cletus safari

This issue comes up in Hamlet, when Hamlet has an opportunity to murder his wicked uncle but stops because he realizes his uncle is praying and would go to heaven. Of course it turns out that his uncle was so wracked with guilt that he could not bring himself to pray. The drama!

It started with Call of Duty 2. I knew something was wrong with that game. It was not as enjoyable as the original or the expansion pack. The series started getting cinematic, when its original strength was in its unpredictability. I can’t remember if it was Modern Warfare or World at War (or maybe both) in which all…

because he’s not a democrat and only ran as a democrat to cash in on blue voters

Is there any backup quarterback in recent history who impressed people in only a handful of games who then was either traded or struck gold in free agency who actually turned out to be good?

Is Luck a Hall of Fame quarterback already? I mean, he’s good, but he still seems a few steps down from top-tier level.

“Hard swing” my ass. Maybe the Spacey joke could pass as that (assuming it was targeted and not just a random non-sequitur), but the Weinstein joke was legitimately bad. It wasn’t a swipe at Weinstein — it was a swipe at his victims.

Every way you look at it, McElwain loses.

Have we forgotten the catastrophe we avoided in the 1940s by talking to the Nazis until they weren’t Nazis anymore?

Get him to talk about Niger on Twitter. I guarantee you it will result in a very, very bad typo.

Uh, Rodgers was a first-round pick. I have no idea what the fuck a “Brett Hundley” is and neither do you.

I don’t know anything Karlie Kloss has ever done and yet I know who she is. I don’t know if she’s an actress or a TV host or anything. I’m not even sure I know what her voice sounds like. And yet I recognize her face and can say, “oh look, that’s Karlie Kloss.”

Slightly off-topic, but does anyone know why Maroney didn’t compete in the 2016 Olympics?

The first question that comes to mind is, do we really want President Mike Pence?

I didn’t know Donald Trump was getting in Twitter spats with football players all the way back in 1934.

If by “a weird rarity” you mean “a weekly occurrence” then I totally agree.

We’re not here to make excuses for Clemson, but why is the reigning national champion playing on the road on a Friday night, anyway?