People just want to say they were alive to see the "GOAT." That's why older people say Jordan and Magic and Byrd were the best and millennials say LeBron or Durant or Bryant are the best when in reality none of those players dominated their respective eras more than guys like Chamberlain or Robertson did. And using…

So he's basically the Jim Harbaugh of soccer?

Is being lazy actually a stereotype of Americans? I thought people from other cultures criticized the whole Puritan work ethic?

During the 2010 Cup I was in Italy at the time and I saw a lot of the games in bars where a lot of people were just getting drunk and only vaguely paying attention to the games. You know, like people always do when watching any sport. Sports and drunkenness go hand in hand, buddy. You're not making a shocking…

So is this what it feels like to live in purgatory? I mean, no one is going to say this is great or anything but I guess it could be much worse. And we all feel really bad about it now because we were hoping for something better but we could have been damned instead, so it all evens out.

The only thing comedic about it was that she was a horrible singer. She started laughing because the boos were coming in because she was singing it badly (probably not on purpose, since she is not a singer). And no, she didn't drag out a single note longer than it was meant to be, unlike Whitney Houston (and just…

It's interesting that you consider Jezebel to be such a terrible website, and yet a good portion of the articles you read are Jezebel articles. Why do you constantly read such "fucking emotionally manipulative clickbait and yellow journalism"? It's obviously beneath you, so why do you bother?

I completely disagree with people who say Roseanne did the worst "Star Spangled Banner." She was the only person in the history of renditions of that song who was not being a pretentious ass. She didn't put a stupid spin on it or drag out any notes longer than they're meant to be. She sang it true, if poorly. Then…

I hate to be "that guy" but looking through your history, every comment you've made is something condescending, negative, or outright rude. I know all of us stupid people couldn't hope to be as knowledgeable about privacy laws as you are, but all of the information discussed in the "cunty comments" was pulled from…

Doesn't this give us a MUCH better shot at winning our group? I understand that the USMNT might not be considered a heavyweight, but they never will be unless they're playing to win, regardless of what group they're drawn in to. They played a much better Ghana team (that they lead for what? 86 minutes?) and still came…

I was already thinking about how annoying this party was when the douche-bro in the red cap started shoving his face in every camera he could see screaming, "Yo, look at my tiny penis!" At least I think that's what he was saying.

A few points, if I may:

Let's assume for a moment that LeBron decides to leave. Where in the NBA can he go where his odds at winning a championship are increased? To get the best shot at playing in the Finals every year he'd pretty much have to be playing in the Eastern Conference. And then where would he go? Back to Cleveland? Yeah, okay.…

"GET YOUR GAME PANTS ON" is going to be my new catchphrase

My Pop Warner football coach would yell at the team like this after games as well. We were 12.

Point: Reuben, you ignorant slut!

It doesn't work like that. The people who flood into town to attend the Super Bowl are almost all wealthy people who have no interest in spending their money at local businesses. They spend it at NFL-hosted events (such as the "NFL Experience" things mentioned in the document and the golf courses and so on), where…

Speak softly and participate in all three races. That's what he's always said.

This man has an uncanny resemblance to Theodore Roosevelt

I was a virgin when I started going steady my first girlfriend (I'm a guy. This post seems to have found its way to Deadspin readers looking for, uh, reading material). We had been in a relationship for a few months when she started hinting that she kinda wanted sex. I was pretty asexual at the time, and I didn't…