Oh, my god, I am so incredibly sorry. That's so difficult. My heart goes out to you.

No lie, Fi got me through the first few months of my PTSD after the marathon bombings. I watched the whole series straight through twice in a row and I felt so comforted by the idea that this teeny tiny woman could kick ass and keep her loved ones safe. It made me feel like I could be strong enough to keep everyone…

I was so lucky to find my Jane in college. She’s a remarkably talented artist who appreciates and indulges my cynicism but has no hesitation to tell me to stop being a fucking Eeyore and get over myself when it becomes too self-indulgent. I’d say the only difference is we’re the sartorial inverse of Daria and Jane:…

I hadn’t even though about them! Excellent choice! And thanks for reminding me of Fiona’s name. Now I can top calling her “the woman from Burn Notice with the charmingly spotting Irish accent.”

I despise the man, and could give few fucks about his leaving the world, but have decided that I’m celebrating the end of his time on the Supreme Court, because celebrating his death is a little assholish.

You and Opheelia are on point with this suggestion.

Same width

I just realized that no man has ever loved me as awesomely as your husband loves you. Wow.

I went to a college that seemed to scoop all the competitive drama and science nerds out of America’s high schools and plop them down into a tepid soup of awkward, and I swear, the other students in the dorm bathrooms (gender neutral) would piss competitively. “What’s that? The delicate tinkle of my opponent? I will…

I screamed (hollered? It was throaty and controlled) and only just managed not to faint. I’ve told my partner that after we’ve finished babies he’s getting snipped because I am not fucking going through that again.

I JUST SNARFED AN ICE CUBE I LOVE YOU

Yeah, my mind went straight to Pearl Harbor, too, but my excuse is I grew up near it. I’m still going with “nothing interesting happens before 11:30am”.

Today in odd tangents, that line made me think that I hope there’s a line of dick cozies (or such like) marketed as “his and his” and then it got me wishing that genitals had their own little towels that could be monogrammed “hers and hers” and for some reason I decided to share this with you, poor unsuspecting…

No lie, I gagged. It was vile. I can handle all the grossness of the human body with two exceptions: other people’s hair, and airborne nails.

What if they impregnated the applicators with pain killers? Could we do that?

If it isn’t pink, how will us women know it’s for us and not boys?

I just cackled so loudly my mom came in to check on me.

Yup. I’m a no-shoes girl. I wear thin socks with my shoes and then either slip them in ziploc (under the assumption that just because I don’t notice a smell doesn’t mean anyone else doesn’t) or just keep them on when I put on my thick, cushy airplane socks.

I don’t remember which flight it was on this winter, but I was across the aisle from a nail clipper. I locked myself in the bathroom until it was done. Of course, I took my drink with me, but I figured airplane bathroom germs are less likely to land in my wine than flying toenails. (Yes. Toe nails.)

You are an amazing human. That’s just some straight up benevolent shit right there.