Yeah, the elf thing isn’t creepy because it’s deceitful. People who are always honest with their kids are either cruel or liars. Your kid doesn’t need the honest answer to “Why do I have to plain my room for an hour” if the honest answer is, “Because you’ve been an insufferable little shut all day and right now you…

I remember my mom waking me up to get a tooth. I rolled over and told her I’d put the tooth pillow next to the bed because the decoration was scratchy. I’d never believed in any of the imaginary fluff people use to fill childhoods, but my parents and I had a tacit agreement that we’d pretend I believed in the Tooth…

Why do I have to stop having sex? Like, in the future, after we’ve had kids and have decided on permanent birth control, I’m not getting another IUD put in because ow so it's vasectomy or condoms and I'm sick of condoms, but why do I need to withhold sex now, when I'm having horrible IUD cramps twice a month, not able…

She does have an annoying voice. For some reason, I’ve always just wanted to hug Kourtney. She usuall has this look on her face that seems to say, “Why do these have to be my monkeys? How can I get out of this circus?”

I have a tangential question, because I was molested by teenage cousins as a little girl and as an adult learned a boyfriend had molested his little sister’s friends (and maybe her, too, I think):

Is it ok if I just hate kris? She's hilariously abominable. The three actual kardashians seem...ok, I guess? They seem like nice, if painfully boring, people whose fame-desperate mom turned them into props. I hate-watch for kris and the Jenner girls.

I need this. What is this .gif from?

Seriously. I raised the possibility with my partner and his knee-jerk reaction was no. Um, I’m enduring debilitating IUD cramps every other week to avoid making a baby because I can’t take hormones and I’m allergic to latex (and no latex condoms are pricey and not covered by insurance). As a woman, I’ve been…

Honestly, anytime someone’s an argumentative asshole, I go and check their commenting history. If they’re relentless shitheads with a recent history of abusive, racist, sexist, or generally cruel or disgusting behavior, I flag them even if that specific comment isn’t terribly problematic. If it seems like they’re just…

Honestly, I worry sometimes that you’ll think I’m stalking you, but in my defense, you do tend to lay down a blanket of hilarious comments, so the deluge of stars is partially your fault.

I think you were following my old login? Technology conspired with Russian spam bots to over run my rarely used Twitter account and essentially forced me to give up my kinja account. When I cleared my cache yesterday I lot my key.

No lie, I’m on the couch with Manford Manfriend passing the ipad back and forth squealing “Look! Randilyn mentioned me! Look at the picture!”

So hot. I'm thrilled, aesthetically and sexually.

I’m a fucking lady, Randilynn. Don’t cast aspersions, you beautiful fucking bitch.

Oh, yes. Oh hells fucking yes. I'm so excited for this.

That was the episode that made me fall in love with this show.

I think I'm going to try it. It's only 2% retinol so if I start off just every other night, it'll probably be okay. Thanks for the suggestions!

I have that wrinkle too: that’s why I’m looking at getting Botox. My mom has (had) the same one, and she looked murderous for decades.

I hope this isn't as giant as it looks. This is the best quality picture I could find. And thank you for your nice words.

*shudder* And the circle of trump supporters encompasses just about all of them. Why anyone thinks trump isn't just grabbing the supremacist vote is beyond me.