Yes, yes.

(This is where I confess that in a moment of wedding-induced madness, I tried to find a "tasteful" tiara.)

part of your spirit menagerie, if you will?

I would also like to point out that 'slipping' in regards to anal is only ever a good thing.

"Why don't women just tell us when they're not interested????" -Reddit

"Gonorrhea is the second most popular STD in the States"

SPOILER ALERT: The log grows up to become Groot 25 years later.

I once played rugby with giant men to impress a guy in college who said he thought it was hot when girls were "tiny but tough." Promptly dislocated my right shoulder and broke my left collarbone, and a rib. Insisted I was fine, even though I couldn't move. Drank a lot, so I could claim the passing out was from the…

Drove my date to a bar in Camden, NJ (look that up if you dare) during the height of the crack epidemic in the '90s. She told me it was to pick up her paycheck. Turns out it was a biker bar and she was going there to buy crack from the bartender. And this isn't your weekend white guys riding bikes for fun-type of…

It's wine-o-clock at Demi's house.

The answer is that we are not Scandanavia.

Probably one of the people that the Albuquerque PD shot and killed.

Ok, now this was around ten years ago or so. When I was a young Marine, my entire unit was invited to the wedding of one of our Sergeants. The wedding was fairly nice and had an open bars so everything was going great. The ceremony went off with no issues and we had over 200 marines in attendance, which is saying…

Hat-Themed wedding.

My cousin's second wedding took place in a local park. There was no seating. A few homeless people wandered through and didn't look too impressed. A friend beeped out Here Comes The Bride on a small Casio keyboard.

So my friend gets engaged. She is amazing— sweet, smart as hell, filthy sense of humor, eyes like luminous pools. She is mixed race and her fiance's family is super country. At the rehearsal dinner, they make lots of comments about her mixed race and stick the microphone in her face with questions like "Tell us why…

This is more about after the wedding than the wedding itself, but...