Not-so-sweet Dee

Anchor Julie Stewart-Binks suggested he should dance for her.

Thank god he and his co-host thoroughly explained every single joke, I doubt I would have gotten them otherwise.

What an idiot. If he didn’t want to forget, why did he put it on his back?

FUCK

Before you ever start drinking, make sure you know exactly how many you’re going to have

On my balls, on my dick then I bust a nut quick. On her face, on her chest, stick my dick between her breasts. Come on fellas, let’s get weird. Stick your dick up in her ear.

I don’t see the problem, DeMarcus.

Oh you mean the bear’s tail...Oh nostalgic memories.

What, you never got the wolf claw?

Did I just get lucky and not go to a school with psychopaths? What the hell is this shit?

Was it because he didn’t know what order the Packers’ offensive line had been introduced in?

Get ready for a week long conversation about What Your Kids Are Doing On The Internet. I bet Chris Hansen’s media schedule is booked until next Tuesday.

Substance abuse is a real thing.

May I also suggest something like, “Hey, the Warriors decided not to trade their third best player and won a title. How does that make you feel?”

yeah, Dope’s the top of my list, but who knows maybe I’ll be super bored one day and just watch both Scooby Doo movies back-to-back

I’ve had a similar idea I call the Fuck-You Flagrant Two. Keep a guy at the end of the bench that you fished out of the D-League, and if the other team wants to hack your guy, just go full goon on their star player. Who cares if that 12th man gets suspended? It sends a message, and the league will stop the problem at…

I propose the solution we use at the Y. If you foul someone for no reason, the next time you run down the floor you’ll catch an elbow to the chin and everyone else will pretend they saw nothing. Not too many cheap fouls down at my local Y.

And the guy would’ve gotten Brady to like it if he spread some peanut butter on his balls.

Lord of War is such an under appreciated movie.