The money's gone and I hate wasting food. Throw a dinner party and nourish the hearts and bodies of all your best gay friends with delicious baked ziti/mac and cheese. Toast to being a normal person.

It's not making fun of her ass: it's making fun of her ridiculous choice of attire and the way said attire makes her normally normal-looking butt look like something out of Dali painting.

Conversely, she can cause Salmonellosis if not cooked thoroughly.

Bombpons? Surely you meant Tambombs.
Also, fun fact: in New Zealand and Australia it is a perennially hilarious joke among kids to call Vegemite "Vaginamite". We can repurpose this! You are welcome - nay, extolled - to change the article title to "Newsweek Cover About Suicide Bombers Features Tambomb Vaginamite"

It reminds me of the bumpy minky fabric that everyone is using to be baby blankets and burp clothes.

Funny, I just wrote about this yesterday. I don't see any need to wash my face unless I've put on makeup that day. My skin has no serious problems (only mild rosacea) and has never been in better condition. Soap makes me need lotion, which makes me break out so I need zit creme and toner which makes me need more…

My suggestion for those who hate unsightly stretch marks: Stop looking at them.

My Grandma had seven children in the days before birth control was widely available. She said to me once that there's never a Right Time to have a baby. That's because no one knows or can control what will happen in the months between conception and birth.

Guy, if it comes out your dickhole and it's gold, it's not semen...

Also- she kind of looks like Tara Reid, so I will now believe that Tara is an international serial killer, and these are her souvenirs from "Taradise". I would bring home a commemorative shot glass, she would bring home her lifeless victims.

This sums things up: