Eh, you’re white. Just call the cops and wait in your locked car. Just lie and say you think a fake cop is trying to kidnap you. That excuse for asking for more cops works for women of every color in Canada so it should at least work for white women in the US.

I know everyone else is saying this, but, I gotta say, that this is a fantastic comment, and, it deserves its own multimillion dollar record label.

If Jesus is real, He’s gonna be weirded out by the couple who carry a yard-long idol of Him, and prop it up in a booster seat at B&Bs.

Imagine getting pulled over after dark on a lonely stretch of road and that face appears at your car window asking you to step out of your vehicle.

Seriously. If anything, choosing to date a fat woman is MORE of a socially risky thing to do. Mockery at the very least, whether to your face or behind your back.

Back when I was single, obvs I was trying to get laid.

—For a man to openly reject a woman because he found her fat would be not only accepted but expected and probably applauded.

—For a man to openly reject a woman because he found her fat would be social suicide.—

Chef here. Bacon in oven is a restaurant thing. Most places will oven bake all the bacon they’ll need for a shift in one go. I have never worked in a place where they make bacon individually for every order. You can cook a ton of bacon in 10 minutes in an oven. Chances are, you’ve had tons of oven baked bacon and you…

I’m pretty short and I’m not at all turned off by short guys - my last boyfriend was barely 5’5”. But you know what is really unattractive? Short guys who are furious about it and think that they were betrayed by the universe, that they ought to have had some much better life than whatever disappointment they’ve…

I’m hoping that it was a case of “instant asshole, just add alcohol” instead of him being resting asshole face and making a habit of harassing female servers. Not that that it excuses his behavior, but hopefully it’s not the normal course of things.

Extra points if she was eating the lobster with butter. Extra extra points to anyone who fulfills Pinkham’s Law with some Talmudic passage where four or five rabbis are disagreeing on the nature of lobster vis-a-vis Kashrut.

This is possibly the funniest comment I have ever read on this site.

They only brought Jesus to dinner with them so they could get free wine.

They never took a doggie bag home and they never touched Golem Jesus’s meal.

Particularly given that there are plenty of other places where you can hold bible study. My college made rooms available even on weekends, you could go to someone’s house, you might even be able to convince someone in authority at a church to let you study the bible there.

I thought the rule was you tip based on what the meal would have cost without coupon. Fifty-buck bill that would have been 80? Tip on 80.

One trembles to imagine the string of ex-girlfriends reading that story and breathing a silent prayer of relief that this fuckwidget has finally been semi-stopped.

I’m laughing with sheer delight at this. What a dumbass.