I’m sure Melania has tried to introduce him to wardrobe tape, but he’s not having any of it. He probably has a Costco pack of scotch tape in his closet and a gold-plated tape dispenser for it.

Or Secretary of Energy.

That does say “blessed are the meerkats” doesn’t it?

YES.

He has no lips.

He’s at least predictable.

Lincoln Bedroom.

It’ll take weeks for him to just master the microwave kind.

No attention span for that.

I think if you watched Scandal you’d be better prepared too.

My theory is that he’s trying to scare the hell out of Trump so he decides to resign before he even takes office.

He was in an episode of Grey’s Anatomy as the former science teacher of Izzie who had dementia but just needed a shunt.

I thought scary antler tangle.

Look outside your very narrow circle! There are green ones too.

It didn’t occur to me until you said it. Done.

I really hope they’re not packets of beet chips or something. That would be so disappointing.

We aren’t good enough yet.

That is a freaking solid business plan. I have no children, but I WOULD BE WILLING if they could go to Presidential Daycare!

When my teen-aged niece announced her intentions to be an OBGYN, I turned to her mom and mouthed tiny hands and her mother looked back and nodded silently. My niece just looked confused. No one has ever put their giant hands up her hooha. She has no idea (if she actually goes through with it) that women will praise…

You can, but only if you’ve removed everything in front of them too, like the uterus.