Apparently they decided she was the perfect woman because a doctor at Cornell examined hundreds of female students to find the one who had the closest proportions to Venus de Milo? And people today say that research funds are misused.

This feels like a problem better served by family counseling than prison time.

That does seem crazy extreme. If I woke up at 1am with a headache, went back to sleep, and still felt groggy—and those were my only symptoms!—drugs honestly wouldn't cross my mind. Maybe I need to start suspecting my roommate of suspicious behavior?

Yeah, those pictures were pretty powerful to look at side by side. I just tried fruitlessly to get a side-by-side bikini shot of Shannen Doherty and Annie Wilson without success to really demonstrate how insanely different the two bodies are. I'd venture to say: size 6 vs. size 2?

Her bod looks rockin' in the photo above. Check out those legs! Does T.Rich photoshop or is that all Lena?

Ha! It wasn't actually the number of messages to weed through as much as it was the number of first dates—that's a lot of time and energy to expend, especially when clearly none of the guys are winners enough to earn a second?

OKCupid is free, which is why it's so enormously popular.

Listing racial preferences seems insane to me. Really? You won't even consider someone who's not the same race as you?

See, this kind of numbers game is exactly what makes me not want to use online dating, though. 30 first dates, none of which went beyond a second one? 600+ people asking you out that you have to weed through? Why would you invest the time when it seems like there's such an unlikely chance of a payoff?

Not to mention that she gave birth in that 44 lbs. Babies weigh things.

If you're filming it on a phone, you frequently have to turn the phone to face you in order to turn off the camera.

I still remember when I was in the school play in 10th grade, and the boy I liked told me that I looked better with all the stage makeup on. "Some girls, they don't look good with that much on, but you look much prettier." A comment to which I responded with a...thank you. God, that rankles.

There's definitely a middle ground between 30 seconds and an hour plus. My makeup routine is relatively high maintenance by societal standards—foundation, bronzer, eyeliner, brows, lip stain, powder—and it takes 6 minutes every morning. To me, that doesn't seem burdensome.

Exactly. I think the gauge of, "Would you do this if you were lazing around at home seeing no other human being?" shatters most "I wear makeup for myself!" arguments. I don't know anyone who applies foundation and curls their lashes prior to spending the day eating Doritos and watching a Bravo marathon of Top Chef.

You're right that in the absence of societal pressures it wouldn't need to be covered? I don't quite understand this comment. In the context of the society we live in, it is perceived as extraordinarily unprofessional for people to have very visible signs of a physical characteristic associated with adolescence and…

Yes! That was a highlight.

Hm. Do you not have many disciplinary issues at your school? We have a pretty frequent rate of fights and physical aggression, so administrators are strictly hands-off with anything that doesn't involve a kid putting his hands on another kid—and that includes language directed towards teachers (i.e.: calling a teacher…

His dad went to OSU and someone on a previous article said this kid was accepted ED?

I think it varies less by school to school and more from social group to social group. You might be surprised what undercurrents existed at a school you always perceived as a safe place.

Can we please please have a different banner picture for this? I think it's expressive/kind of clever, but the "NSFW" tag is kind of useless if you open blog.jezebel.com at work and get that image over half your screen.