Hole in the hand for an even more effective spanking experience!

Or if its erect and someone places my hand on it, I'm very likely to try to bend it in half. I hear it goes *pop* if you bend it far enough.

This explains the title of Paula's new Food Network show "Krazy Klan Kooking"

I am so ridiculously upset about Paula Deen. It's like finding out my Grandma is murdering puppies. I couldn't even get the original article to read, I clicked the link and the article would disappear and be some stupid ad. video.

Re: Armie Hammer - I'm a feminist but I'm also a submissive. I don't think the two things are mutually exclusive. It's very weird, this idea that getting married means that things have to get vanilla in the bedroom. As long as everyone is consenting, who cares? Also - you're okay with pulling a woman's hair if she's…

"But for the sake of balance, we must now turn to Barry, who believes that the sky is a carpet [canvas?] painted by God."

I was just about to post this! BEST VIDEO EVER!!

Yeah I think the person who tells the paps to eff off but doesn't support fucking WalMart is generally a better human being than someone who has manners but panders to probably the vilest corporation on the planet.

Read that NPH was going to play Hedwig. So excited. Confused. Amazed. Falling in love.

Fuck homeopathy and fuck the delusional celebrities who continue to promote it as a replacement for actual research-based medical care.

Hey, why aren't the people who raise hell about minority actors playing white characters because it's "not true to the source material" not as upset in this instance where the "slight" is going in the reverse?

We should do that, for kids who can't read good and wanna learn to do other stuff good too.

Cracker Barrel is the Cracker Barrel of the Midwest.

"If that does not suit you, then GET OUT"

"The standard you walk past is the standard you accept" should be chiseled above the doorway of every schoolhouse, legislative house, government office building, church, and possibly on every street corner in the nation.

I was at a party recently and a friend of mine made a joke that referenced the Muppet Show. His wife said something about how she never watched TV since she grew up in Uganda or whatever since her parents were missionaries and blah blah blah. I think she figured her story was more interesting and that we would ask her…

YES! I went on a date with a guy from okcupid and he said "I don't watch TV," smugly and I just laughed "I do! It's my goddamn SECOND JOB. When I'm on my deathbed, if you lean over and tell me that I spent 15 years of my life watching TV I will reply that it was time well spent."