Don't forget Jack In The Box

Well "Jimmy" is also a slang term for Penis (although not really used anymore), so it really makes perfect sense. But Howard Johnsons would have been funny too.

Christians who leave fake money with Bible verses or cards about Jesus as "tips" are, specifically, Christian assholes.

I worked in doctors office. I collected the paper that held the diagnoses for you after you saw the doctor as well as your co-pay. When I told a guy his copay was 10 dollars, he gave me a "bill" and told me to keep the change and basically bolted out.

What's wrong with turning to the kid and "I'm a grad student. You'd might as well drop out as soon as you can."

(With the "excuse" that I am a shut-in and watch everything and anything)

If aluminum, raw eggs, and dead fetuses will keep my asthmatic ass from getting pertussis, then sign me up. IDGAF.

True story:

Gah, did a paper on smallpox once for a medical history class once, I had nightmares for months.

Dude, this is a fear of mine. A minor, hypothetical fear, like sinkholes (only less likely), but seriously, ever since my dad showed me his smallpox vaccine scar as a kid and explained that I didn't need one, I started coming up with all of the ways I could possibly need one.

Hahaha. But seriously, how is this fuckery in the black and I'm grey?

Is there a way to find out the percentage of kids who aren't vaccinated at my future child's school? I'm getting married and buying a house, and this is now something I feel like I need to know about the school district we're purchasing in. Is this something I can just call the school and ask? They have to have the…

The 3D printing world is primed for an uptick in leg braces.

Public registry for anti-vaxxers. Just like with sex offenders, your neighbors should know who you are and Disneyland should be able to tell you you're not invited.

My mother's favorite shade is, "You look nice."

This is code for, "I can see you are trying and maybe wearing lipstick and no one can see your tattoos in that outfit. I won't call you 'pretty,' because I couldn't possibly be that maternal and supportive. This is the best I can do."

Yea, it was yellow and grey, tea length, and less than a hundred bucks. I live it and still wear it all the time. My mom hates it and has a hissy fit every single time I wear it. I am immature as fuck so I wear it around her every chance I get.

"Well, as long as you like it, that's the main thing".

genpop! genpop! genpop! genpop!

I was the worst/best bride ever. I ordered my supremely boring dress from the $99 David's bridal Sale, had it shipped to my office, tried it on in the accessible stall at work, modeled it (complete with black trouser socks and a shitty ponytail) to a handful of co-workers who got more emotional than me, put it back in…

I work a bridal gown sale every year. It's in a nice hotel and the gowns are just expensive enough to attract the worst of the worst... Think "I'd like to speak with a manager" haircuts and (OMG real) Coach bags (from three seasons ago.)