I travel often with my small human, sometimes just the two of us. I think it started as a way to challenge what I kept hearing what my life was going to be like as a mother. I didn't like what I was being fed.

A lot of guys walk away from relationships and have little or no contact with their kids. All they have to do is shrug their shoulders and say their mom is a bitch. Most folks give them a pass. A woman who walks away from her family is seen as unnatural, a monster. Single dad = hero, single mom = she made her own…

I had this experience. We were in London for 2 months, and I didn't know anyone there or in my travel group. I made friends with one guy, and we took off almost every weekend (we had 3-day weekends in our program), and in the end I managed to make it to all 4 UK capitals, plus a few other trips (although I'm still sad…

SO SHINY

I was giving myself a pedicure on the sofa a few years ago. I was all done and glooped handfuls of heavy Miracle Foot Repair lotion on both feet. Then reached for the socks to put on. Except I'd left the socks about five feet away on a chair. Soon as I stood up to lean over and grab them - bending over the coffee…

I legit slipped on a fresh banana peel once and went ass over teakettle. I know, Mythbusters says they're not slippery but I DID. It was pure cliche slapstick comedy, and even though my ego was probably the most bruised thing it was just so fucking ridiculous it counts as the dumbest.

I think it's awesome bc you can use that against him for the rest of time. Like the time Mr. melted the plastic onto a lasagna because he thinks he's too good for instructions. That happened 9 years ago and it comes up at least once a month. Gold.

I once severed my tongue (did you know they could reattach those?) in a library, on the first day after their renovations (I ended up volunteering there 15 years later, it was apparently legend.) I tripped and bit it clear off.

Oh Christ, where do I begin?

Well, my now husband and were having pizza one afternoon. After we were done eating, one thing lead to another and I starting giving him a good ol BJ. I was horny, so was he, so I got on top and started riding away, enjoying ourselves. Then I felt a slight burning sensation. I was like, oh whatever, it'll go away.…

Bloody nose and lip pulling up my own bra strap. My hand slipped and I punched myself.

Dislocated my jaw by yawning.

I yawned my face off.

I fell down the three stairs on my porch, grabbed hold of the porch column with one hand, swung around and slammed face first into my car that was parked in the driveway.

Especially if one of them was a vampire.

You KNOW that exists somewhere.

Someday "she'll" rip of the mask and Andy Kaufman will reveal his greatest bit ever.

Hey look at that, Serena Joy's talking again.

I'd be much happier if they were lovers but I recognize that is unlikely

My cousin's kid had this, she totally outgrew it but had awful IBS and other issues before they discovered it.