1. Chocolate

Probably the name. Like the Red Delicious, which actually sucks! My question is, what the fuck are grapes doing in a beef & potato entree?

Is the meme sarcasm? It might be sarcasm. It probably is sarcasm.

My parents always said that shit to me, and you know what, as an adult, I see even more that I was smarter and more reasonable than they ever were. It fucking blows, actually. Seeing my sister have kids and how she relates to them makes me realize that I was a better mother to my siblings than our mother ever was.

I don't have kids, but I feel like I'd rather have a teen who thinks he knows everything than a teen who has attachment issues and plans to live with me until he's 40...but that's just me, and I was also raised in a household that very much discouraged individual thought and choices.

Can I just say that I can't believe Pissing Contest didn't happen this week?

I'm going to be 32 in three weeks and I literally never feel "old," because I'm not...But "who is STP?" makes me feel a little old.

PREDICTION: Nick Cannon will try to get with Paula Patton next.

"I'm Scott Weiland from Stone Temple Pilots" — the most damning evidence of all.

So do you just Google this shit all day?

I really was uncomfortable! I just kept thinking how I didn't want to be there. The cop later asked my boss to convince me to go out with him!

I hope they did it in full riot gear!

I mean the real question here is why didn't she just leave the kids with her Nanny, Chef, or Chauffeur?? It just makes no sense.

I imagine there are a lot of good stories in mental health, as there are in my field, which is special education.

When I was in college, I covered for a law firm's receptionist when she was out. The firm shared a reception area with the county mental health commissioner, which means that he decided whether people should be forcibly committed to a psychiatric hospital or rehab when a petition was filed. Like with Britney Spears…

This story comes, as do most of my better ones, from my time working at Space Camp. I was working an adult weeklong camp during the off season and it came to the time of week when the campers participated in their extended mission which was eight hours long. I was working the SpaceHab area which is the self contained…

This happened to me too! I'd been working at a boutique for about a month and showed up for work one day. My boss was sitting on the bench outside but didn't catch me as I walked into the store as she had intended. So I saw my replacement standing behind the counter looking terrified of me, and I stood there…

Right after graduating high school I had a job working as an overnight security guard before I left for my mormon mission (i used to be mormon, this is only important to mention to underscore my innocent nature at the time).

This is actually my dad's story but it's a family favorite that always gets trotted out at holidays and parties.

Called the local sheriff in the morning and had a complete fucking conniption fit until he came over to pick it up. His eyes were like saucers when he saw it. He said, "Best get rid of that suitcase, because it's going to smell mighty interesting to some sniffer dog. It's a damn miracle you weren't caught with it."…