At the very least, find a cheap Smart on Copart for a swap.

Tough to get more “adult” than a custom van.  I’m sure you can find one in that price range, but bring your blacklight to the test drive.

THE BOX SAID IT ADDED 10 HORSEPOWER.

“What about the buffoon lessons? Four years at Clown College!?”
“I’ll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way.”

I actually saw one at my local Y.   I was irrationally excited to actually see one in person.

WHY DID YOU TURN!!

Please have a Cupracabra edition.  

Demon comes out on top and again finishes its run in about 10 seconds. But those repeat performances do raise questions about the driver’s ability, as a car with this much power should theoretically be quicker.

And once you get the Saabaru, cause that’s the obvious choice, look into RallyCross in your area. You’ll have a ton of fun, plus modifying for dirt will add another dimension to your project car.

Came here to make this comment.

Easy. Cybertruck with a Hellcat powered range extender in the bed.

Well shit, so does driving on the NJ Turnpike.

I loved it until I got to this. Goes from looking factory to looking like somebody made it with a sawzall.

I still extremely like it, but that just looks unfinished.

Voyager 1 finally calls home, drunk and broke. “Hey guys, sorry, my phone battery like must have died or something. Yeah, I had to borrow this old phone to call you. So like, can you send some money? I’ll give you an address. No, cash would be better, cause like uh, yeah, just send cash. I promise I’ll be home for the…

Right idea, but too conservative. Go with the Shaggin’ Brake.

Our CR-V has been bulletproof. We’ve had it for 5 years and put 125k on it without a single major fault. That being said, it’s the most boring car I’ve ever owned.

Bang for your Buck, just like a Tesla!

A third the price of a Jolly, plus all the neighbors in Newport have Jollys now, and you want to be different.  

Hot Tub Limo. Cool fall air, nice hot water, someone else doing the driving.