Conservatives on big government: “I made this money with my own hard work, I didn’t need the government’s help.”

You think you’re the shit, aren’t you?

12. Getting hit by a carbomb.

I am the Semen King

On my balls, on my dick then I bust a nut quick. On her face, on her chest, stick my dick between her breasts. Come on fellas, let’s get weird. Stick your dick up in her ear.

Giselle: “My husband cannot throw the fucking ball and catch balls in the face at the same time.”

Manning’s college career gave them rest of his team good training for that.

The same fan threatened to blow up US Bank Stadium if the Vikings signed Robert Turbin.

Are you a cop?

As a native Phialdelphian, I cannot disagree with this sentiment.

No real ghost stories but this book series scared the shit out of me as kid:

So it takes 63 minutes for a PAC-12 game to get physical.

You’re right, we should totally wait for the dead hookers.

Cheer up Bills fans. Just because Harvin is retiring from professional football doesn’t mean he can’t keep playing for the Bills.

I hear ya...why would Black folks want to eat in places that don’t want them to eat?

I bet he’s wearing Reebok Pumps that are inflated WAY over the allowed limit. Typical Patriot cheating.

I bet that “2015 SNF Runner-up” banner looks great.

The best part about this is he’s not even playing Bernie Sanders. He’s just playing Larry David. And it all works!

Sports Illustrated did a detailed story last year about Brady’s longevity that was basically him promoting Gurerro and his business. It mentioned a lot of stuff like what’s going on in the emails regarding the Canucks. Not to mention these emails are months old. Is the Boston Magazine piece the only new hook?