I know. This is me to Jezebel:

I really don't remember her looking this much like Grumpy Cat in the movie.

I'm 5'11" but I love all those dresses. What I'm saying is get ready to see my pussy, America!

The best part is that he refers to Keifer Sutherland as Jack, as in Jack Bauer. Oh Benedict. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

Oh, honey.

Shit, he's 21? I didn't realize. I'm eight years older than him. And now i feel weird. Oh well.

woo,girl. *fans self*

I'm sorry, Mark, you are mistaken. This is in fact the opening number to the greatest Porn musical of all time.

My god. They are beautiful. And also fabulous. To Sweden!

Please don't encourage Swedish men and facial hair! Seriously, on the streets of Stockholm, for every guy that looks like a long lost Skarsgård, there's eight that look like long lost yetis.

Saving this to my porn folder.

I think you're mistaken. First pic: hot, second pic: dangerously hot. (But lets be honest, I'm sure I find most of his pics hot anyway...)

IT REALLY IS AN OUTRAGE TO MY JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY THANK YOU FOR NOTICING.

Funny story. In the end, when he was running? He was racing to my house. To kiss me. On the FACE.

I presume Burt was too moved to write any copy. Because woof.

I know, I've committed a Grand Jezebellean Sin. I hereby sentence myself to 30 lashes with a used tampon. I hope we can still be friends.

I'm a bit slow at times. This was... fascinating.

I have pants on. So there's that.

Well now I am licking yogurt off a picture of John Stamos.

I don't want Pinterest gifs. I have the fastest Internet I can get right now but they still make everything lag.