It’s just a hunch, but I think I can see why you’re still on the market.

I usually fire back with “Hello there!” You’re not getting off that easy, potential love interest.

Oof. No wonder you’re single. Even as a fellow writer/editor I would look at that pretentious-as-fuck “disclaimer” and move right along. If you need to give someone instructions on how to say hello to you, you're too high maintenance.

...is there really such a gender disparity in initiating contact?

It took me forever to meet someone online. I just don’t look that exciting on paper, I guess. So eventually I stopped trying to have conversations online and I just started finding women who had like at least one common interest and didn’t look crazy, and instead of starting a conversation on OKC I just asked if they…

you should have replied “sorry, I swiped right on you by accident”

It’s really kind of funny and maybe a bit telling that women don’t like Bumble. “Oh look! A bunch of dudes that I don’t have to sort through the creeps and get creep messages. Oh, wait, now I have to be the one with an interesting conversation starter? FUCK NO.”

I don’t get it. I though everybody shit in the living room when they break in a house. Am I doing it wrong?

Bear said......”Iams full”.

It’s a good thing bears shit in the woods, because I don’t want to be within a country mile of the pile he’s gonna leave behind after eating all that dog food.

Welp, time for the rest of us to hang it up for the day.

I can clearly see she’s given at least two.

I hate myself for laughing at this.... well, that amongst other things

Only if they high five.

I see a tower.

an unofficial side event featured a woman and two men vigorously going to town in what appears to be an alley.

It’s fitting that rodeo enthusiasts can only last for 7 seconds.

Obviously not her first rodeo.