I also liked the part when the Cardinals lost.

What the fuck, man. At least that explains all my friends texting me asking if I needed bail money.

Maybe you are confused. This is a list of teams you can root for in the playoffs.

Cesspools of dead skin cells and fromunda cheese, they are.

I bet CC Sabathia was even more upset he missed the game when he heard that the stadium was full of boos.

Seager is Olerud with a real good shortstop’s range and more pop. And he plays with his cock’n’balls constantly and without evident shame. Seager is a good baseball man.

Kristen, Christin, Khristin, Qristin, Christyn, Khristin, Kristinn, Kristin, Christen, Krysstin, Kriston....this took me 15 seconds.

“But this time.... Mark’s got company....

Yep.

Vinci climbed a mountain but is still a mole hill.

(yawns)

I honestly kind of respect Tom Raper’s willingness to use his name quite that much.

Only thing missing from those ads is a Ben Roethlisberger celebrity endorsement.

Great point. I bet Messi barely sleeps at night worrying about how he’ll stack up in history against the likes of Boateng.

“SVBIED”... Seriously? The military can’t accept the existance or anything until they come up with an acronym or initialism for it, can they?

You spelled "more" wrong.

Man what the fuck is wrong with people? The SI Swimsuit Edition isn't about normal sized people or normal anything. It's specifically about featuring exceptionally good-looking and athletic swimsuit models.

The league's security apparatus sure is quick and thorough on such important matters.

That particular plane was $800K. Ouch.

Reasons for leasing (as long as you aren't Jalopnik's typical 19 year old commenter)