Sorry, we just try to cover pro soccer here.

The dog knows if he snarls at Cristiano Ronaldo he'll just dive and draw a foul.

A pretty natural regression when you go from Kobe to Tyson.

You go straight to Hell!

Another day, another reason to dislike power-tripping egomaniacs who think a badge gives them carte blanche to do whatever the fuck they want.

Do you mean Grahame, Nadine, and Tom Chilton?

Please don't be full of shit when you're saying dumb stuff.

Sorry Chief, Yasiel Puig is one of the better players in the MLB. Tim Tebow is a conservative Christian who got lost on his way to the public speaking circuit and found himself on a football field.

She's in the attic!!!

Hate it when people call him just Ronaldo.

THIS:

I guess I'm just old, but when did we start referring to Cristiano Ronaldo as just Ronaldo on first reference? When I hear Ronaldo I think of the Brazilian Ronaldo, who really was the Ronaldo of his era. And yet now everybody just called CR Ronaldo and while yea it's fine we can assume you're talking about the active…

Cops are not military. COPS ARE NOT MILITARY. Any cops reading this need to get that through their thick, violent heads.

Imma let you finish but this was the best sketch of all time...

Calm down, Ms. Park

Knowing Ray, he'll probably only get 1-2.

It doesn't matter if she was doing the speed limit, or going 100 over speed limit. Left lane is for PASSING! It's a universal law. Exists in every single country (different in RHD market of course). Unless there is bumper-to-bumper traffic in every lane or you plan to make a left turn, GET OUT OF THE LEFT LANE!

the minus is due to the fact that the paper was supposed to be about the Outkast song.

It's okay though: they're doing segregation the Right Way.

Plaschke's the worst. His appearances on that abysmal Around the Horn only make this clown more empowered and worse as a writer (if that's possible). Mattingly commands so much respect? That's news to me. Isn't Mattingly the same guy who was nearly fired before his team went on an improbably 42-8 run?

Amazingly awesomely ridiculously tasty...Roscoe's Chicken 'n Waffles.