Or, How to lose all social credibility 101.

Orrrrrr, you could tell the truth.

You don’t need to tell people this. Every single person I know with kids does it already.

Came here to say just that!!

what a piece of shit you have to be to get expanded sexual assault laws named after you. like what a fucking piece of shit. i hope it is so widely called the schneider loophole that this motherfucker gets called out every time he applies for a job or uses his credit card or has any occasion to share his last name.…

What about tackling and strangling someone? Maybe that’s not a sex offense, but surely tackling and strangling someone is against the law, whether you masturbate on them or not? How did he not get jail time for that?

This is correct, but we really need to find some more Chrises to push Pratt further down.

This is the empirically correct order. 

Yeah, Pine seems great, but CLEARLY it’s Evans—Hemsworth—Pine.

I feel Pratt should be removed from the list all together as he still reps Hillsong.

I just feel like Chris Pine kind of looks...generic? My order:

Lol good point. Riot:”We didn’t do what was asked of us, but we did do what we felt was good enough.”

So they always know where their towel is?

Danny Pudi and Rob McElhenney could probably sell me a series alone without it being a video game.

Repeat to yourself, “It’s just a show, I should really just relax.”

You are so salty that I needed two gallons of water to get though your entire post. Cry more dear man.

As someone whose engagement ring is from Costco, why yes, you do get cash back if you buy on a Costco card. 4% ! Sure, 16,000 bucks back probably isn’t a big deal to that guy, but I’ll take 4% back on a big purchase any day

I just hope that playing down there doesn’t mess up the rotation on his shot. 

“I will not be reporting on the gossip surrounding children who most likely didn’t ask for the intense press scrutiny.”

You asked so kindly, so sure.