It's almost fascinating how bad it is– it's like a college freshman's trying to do literary nonfiction based off the half a Hunter S. Thompson essay they read a couple months ago.

I know these are all hypotheticals, but you'd be stupid to take the annuity. Any semi-competent financial manager can reinvest that and have you earn far more than you would've with the annuity over the same time span.

I went from "fully prepared to be letdown" to "cannot fucking wait" after 'Real Friends' and 'No More Parties in LA' came out today.

Star Wars, schmar wars. The real entertainment this weekend was whatever just happened with Steve Harvey and the Ms. Universe pageant.

Hmmm… does your mother lies in a Phily neighborhood that rhymes with "Lorthern Niberties," by any chance?

If anything, this only makes me hope it gets greenlighted even more.

This movie just wrecked me. I don't know if it's the *best* movie that came out this year, but it's definitely the one that I think about the most.

The Philadelphia 76ers have opened the season with 15 straight losses, which is three away from the worst start to an NBA season in history. I think at this point, there is no team that can lose to them at full strength, save the Lakers. In fact, breaking this record– God, I can't do this anymore. I'm off to watch…

Well, that plus he'd been signed like 3 days before. It's really amazing how quickly he went from franchise QB to out of the NFL.

Thing is, those are fun when the production's marked by excess or calamity. From what I've read, it sounds like The Last Dino's problems were pretty simple– the original director just couldn't make the story work. That doesn't sound like fertile ground for a good oral history, especially when Peterson's still at Pixar.

I was worried that Kanye's verse would age really poorly, but nope, Christian Dior Denim Flow is still great. Linking up with Pusha after Malice found Jesus is probably the smartest thing he's ever done.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure David Stern still has nightmares about their Finals appearances in '05 and '07. They took some notes from the Suns and became a lot more fun on offense after that, but it took a few years for people to really notice because memories of Bruce Bowen hacking the shit out of people were so strong.

I can't be the only one who turned on the game and immediately flashed back to the last time my dog had diharrea.

Yeah, I was gonna say I've seen this storyboarded in some how-to filmmaking guide.

Nah, I'm only a few years older, so that's good to know. Still, there's a bunch of other series I'm more likely to revisit first– I really loved the Redwall books, for one.

I haven't read the series in years and have no plans to revisit it as an adult. Something tells me it wouldn't hold up all that well.

Ugh, Rowling's treatment of time travel is so dumb that I get irrationally annoyed whenever I get reminded of it.

You're a mess of a movie!

But that's the point– that kind of over-the-top action cheese is classic Bond! That shit wouldn't have been out of place in a Moore movie, but people called Quantum a Bourne film because Bond's sad and punches people.

Quantum has the plane crash/skydiving set piece, the Opera scene, and a hotel straight out of Michael Bay's wet dreams. It's a little more understated, yeah, but it's not taking itself too seriously. The villain's underwhelming, but his plot's not. I'll admit Leiter's completely wasted, but all in all Quantum's just…