Long sleeve button down tucked into your jeans with a backwards trucker hat? KILL YOURSELF!

"Knocked a dude out, but you were at Versace. Nice job, homo."

"Your sister is Forever 21 to me, bro."

Saw your tweet. "Just took a dude out." So gay.

Dear Stan, I wrote you but you still ain't called/

That first story is just unbelievable. Airlines let expectant mothers fly in their third trimester?

Well, the Trojan is broken, but at least he pulled the little guy out in time.

Andy Reid did that all the time. In fact, he used to do three shows a day, until that stupid Blackfish documentary made everyone all uppity about it.

"Not anytime soon."

So when are they renaming to the Santa Clara 49ers?

Vin Scully could do play-by-play of a sex tape and make it sound classy.

Some Questions About That Auburn-Alabama Game

Are most people in Alabama like that old lady? Jesus.

Hey, I don't know if this is the right place for this or if I even should post this

Traded For Blow Jobs

"Chief Blowing Buffalo would be proud."
- Dan Snyder