Or skip Wicked and see Something Rotten anything other than Wicked.

Oh good lord. I am so sorry, that is absolutely awful. Hugs and xanax to you!

YES

LOL I have a Carrie-esque scene in my head right now. (also read as: don’t get wasted and try to empty your cup in a dive bar bathroom stall)

get drunk and *accidentally* order it on amazon. Do it.

I just looked at GOOP for the first time after reading this. I am so confused...

Isn't jibber jabber?

What the actual fuck is he trying to say? I'm so confused. So... You're saying your wife is good and looking good? ::slow clap::

I’m curious, with the police officer standing right next to the couple as they speak with the clerk, isn’t there something that he could do? Is there a way for law enforcement to actually, oh I don't know, ENFORCE THE LAW?

Ride on Melanie, ride on!

That number is thoroughly underwhelming, but at least its a start I guess...

I miss seamless so fucking much. I miss NYC more.

Reason I’ve never ordered a tamale? Not sure what to eat and what not to eat. Now I know and will enjoy one someday. Yeah, I know, judge away.

Seriously, I use this on my baby as well and its THE BEST. And the Burt’s Bees baby lotion, best baby smell.

Obviously online review sites suck balls, but aside from asking random locals on the street, what is your preferred method of finding restaurants/bars in an unfamiliar city? Curious to hear!

LOL my 4th was so exciting I forgot to post here! And by exciting I mean I was asleep in bed by 7:30pm.

Thank you! He is working on being the next Derek Zoolander

For real. Let’s be honest, I should say “sparkling wine” because lord knows I don't have the budget for real champagne every night!

I am right there with you. Just moved to a new city and yeah, no friends. Its awful.

Haha, he is definitely real! And thank you! He is an angel