Seriously. How is this even a thing that exists?! I’m on less than 3 hours sleep and slightly delirious and for a second I thought I forgot how to read and my brain was hallucinating a weird nightmare article. TBH I kind of wish that was the case; I’d be less concerned.

This just happened to me too and I’m a little embarrassed by how happy it makes me especially because he’s not really “famous.” He’s my favorite writer on a comedy site and I'm such a fan girl for him and we tweeted back and forth and then he followed me back and sent me a DM and I was so unnaturally happy because I'm…

I definitely read that as “the bottom of that dress looks like my cat’s asshole.” I was very confused and slightly horrified until I re-read it more carefully. In my defense, I only slept three hours last night because I woke up at 2 am and couldn’t fall back asleep so I'm a bit out of it. Also, I'm very sorry about…

Personally, I'm partial to this Michelle face. The crazy just oozes out.

You and I both. My brother and I would always drive past it on our way to visit our family for the holidays and we would giggle like children every time. Maybe I'll turn into an adult some day.

That’s amazing and I want to move there now. In the town I live in there’s a Hooters and BJ’s next door to one another which I always find amusing.

There is an IHOP near me located on Cox Rd. It's the IHOP on Cox.

This reminds me of my favorite Demetri Martin quote:

I think Caitlyn and her story is huge for the transgender community in so many ways. I was at home visiting my parents when her interview aired, and my parents are very old fashioned Catholics and don’t always have the most progressive views. I was a bit worried about what their reaction would be, and I was so…

This is false! I’m a grown woman who is only petulant some of the time, and I don’t eat my pizza crust. The cheese to bread ratio is not right on the crust, it's science. Why do I want to eat cheeseless bread? What’s the point? Crust just makes me thirsty and sad. This is why Chicago thin crust is the best because…

Yes me too! It drives me absolutely bonkers. Then on top of that I’m very tall which just makes clothes fit even worse and pants impossible to find. This is why I live in yoga pants and stretchy shirts. Fuck you buttons that don't button. You have one job!

I had the same thought, but no one would get it so I changed it on here instead. Also, I never go on FB so it wouldn’t really matter.

You, my friend, are a genius.

I’ve never watched Scrubs, but now I feel like I should. However, I know enough about it to know his characters name is JD, but after reading all this Josh Duggar fuckedupness my brain just went there and it’s a very unfortunate coincidence. And thank god for Friday, I either need to lie down or get a beer or do both.

When you said JD my first thought was Josh Duggar because of his initials, and I was very, very confused/concerned. It's also been a long week so my brain is working a bit slowly.

That’s one of the best things I’ve ever heard. I think I want you to write a book with all your dating horror stories. I need to know more.

The fact that she wants that played at her funeral always makes me laugh. If you knew my mom it would be even funnier, it’s not what you would expect from her. I’m thinking playing Spirit in the Sky and Highway to Hell back to back is the way to go. I want to really confuse people.

Spirit in the Sky by Norman Greenbaum. It’s what my mom wants played at her funeral and also an awesome song.

I second this. I’m very upset it’s missing. I’m currently visiting my parents (who live 12 hours away), and the other day I was telling my dad about the celebrity/pet lookalike because it makes me laugh so hard. I knew he’d appreciate the ridiculousness of it. This is inexcusable.