If I ever made fun of Uncle Joe, I take it back.

Ugh, my husband’s grandfather did this too! And my husband thought it was FUNNY to do as a joke on the occasion we eat dinner early - ha ha ha because that means we’re old!

Here’s what I have to say to you (Mike Pence):

I do not thrust because then I would come and dirty Mother’s sheets and I would be scolded (Mother’s domain is the bedroom). So I lie still and wait for Mother to say, “That is enough,” and then I roll over to my side of the marital bed and lie still until morning.

Norman Bates is the second creepiest person to refer to his one true love as “Mother.”

Aghghghghgh Karen her name is Karen when Karen asks you to pick up ice cream you pick up ice cream.

hahaha what a weirdo! well done! I like how it’s all satire until the last paragraph which is a very serious paragraph about the hottest thing imaginable in any scenario. really well done.

Ask Mother first.

I tend to find that, the larger someone’s cross is on their necklace, the more likely they are to do deeply non-Christian shit.

When reached by the Post via email, Manigault responded with about the level of maturity and thoughtfulness one would expect from a White House official accused of threatening a reporter: “My comment: Fake news!”

Omarosa has never NOT been completely fucking terrible.

I think horrible people are just naturally drawn to each other.

Also? Giving birth on the way to the hospital implies, you know, that someone believed you and took you to the hospital.

Yes, but they were in AMERICA. In America, we clamp down on your hand like a vice, stare directly into your eyes as a display of dominance and shake until a little bit of poop falls out.

Jesus Christ. One tiny upshot to this whole national embarrassment is that I now know, without a doubt, that I am not nearly as socially awkward and embarrassing as I thought I was.

Christ, he’s bad at this. He can’t even shake hands correctly.

Not all Americans and not even the majority of those voting. The folks that voted for him see loudness and brashness as leadership and they really hate people that aren’t like them that much. That and they will believe anything as more than a dollop of fear is communicated along the way.