EXACTLY. My nails are all glitter right now.

And it’s legit not the first time he’s mentioned my nails. He once told me that my nails did not match my toe-nails and is that a faux-pas?

He care. He just didn’t want to LOOK like he cares cause MEN.

Also, who cares if no one notices? It’s not like everything women do is a desperate cry for attention. This glitter nail polish is for my enjoyment, thank you very much.

My bf made fun of me for how much nail polish I own, and said that no one even notices nail colour anyways. I told him at least three people complimented my opal nail polish that week and he said “let me guess, all women, right?” and I said duh yes but who cares? I like it.

What does this fucker do yesterday? “Oh you…

On Friday I had another stage in my post-breast cancer reconstruction done; fat grafting. Eight ounces of fat sucked from my belly, and injected in my fake breasts.

...doesn’t have a screen door that hits you in the ass on your way out...

You do, however, get your choice of barbecue sauces: smoky, spicy, or sweet.

Seeing as how part of Mr. Gordon’s job involves reviewing fast food items, it quite literally is his business.

The YSL Black Opium yes? I went to Sephora the other day and smelled it. I thought it was underwhelming as I thought it would be more complex.

This is peak First Take. He speaks one sentence and contradicts himself in the next.

I actually agree with Skip when he says “You do not need to defend yourself on this issue.” Smith really needs to defend himself on every other issue.

I’m halfway torn between “this has got to be a hoax/some sort of publicity stunt because nobody could be this oblivious” and “it’s amazing how easily people believe their own bullshit when they’re blinded by the dollar signs in their eyes.”

Because the number one thing I want coworkers and potential employers to see when they google me is “She could have called back after that one night stand... Bitch didn’t even let me spend the night... Sorry for the drunk post.”

DEAR BALD PEOPLE: SHAVE YOUR HEAD IT’LL BE FINE I PROMISE

Women are useless weaklings unless they are about to be raped, in which case all of their body parts turn to powerful steel and they are able to ward off any physical force?

But, but, but....I thought women were the weaker sex. Where’d this strength come from all of a sudden?

I’m not sure I’d concur that there was “no excuse” for killing a baby in 1787. While foundling hospitals existed, they were hotbeds of abuse and disease. If your child survived childhood disease and a near starvation diet, s/he would be condemned to a life of poverty with no family support network. The very best…

Even as a seven-year-old, I was so baffled at the drug lyceums my school would have where they claimed that drug dealers hang around the playground, give kids stickers with acid or LSD on them, and then the kids are hooked on drugs FOREVER! My allowance was $1 a week, I could not afford drugs. That’s just a horrible…

Given that Halloween is coming up and all sorts of stupid lore about treats laced with tricks will soon full the media, here is a simple trick to detect illicit drugs in your confections:

*Reeeal men of geeenius*

*tosses beads*