I really love these true crime articles. I know some people have expressed displeasure at them being an offshoot of io9, but I say keep on keeping on.

“Here’s your child back, safe and sound!”

It also sounds like a cocktail at the world’s best theme bar!

I warn you, there’s a 50% chance I’ll think I can dance (I CAN’T) and a 100% chance I’m going to hug you.

I want to go drinking with you.

Mary Poppins here. I fucking love everyone when I’m drunk and will sway up to you and tell you that you are the best human being alive and I respect you and also you are so pretty and nice that I don’t even deserve to know you, no, don’t look at me, I’m ashamed to have someone as wonderful as you look at me. People…

The not-Norman Reedus one (Ya hear that, Sean Patrick Flannery? You’re the fucking “other” Boondock Saint, now, you putz).

Dammit, don’t you hate it when you turn down Molestation Avenue when you really meant to hang a left on Not Being a Fucking Monster Lane? Goddamn MapQuest, I tell you what...

Mothers Day has gotten exponentially harder since my dad died; on one hand, my mom’s depressed, and despite our differences, I don’t want her to wallow her life away in sadness- which means being somewhat present in her life. On the other hand, this is the same woman who held a cleaving knife to her heart last year…

My mom is mentally ill, and did a lot of damage to me because she wasn’t treated until she was almost sixty (I’m still not sure she ever got the correct treatment, but whatever). But I find that I’m angrier at the members of my family who knew the things that went on and did absolutely nothing to help me when I was…

I use mine to keep the crows out of my corn.

I've seen so many horror movies and read so much Stephen King that usually these stories don't get to me — yesterday's weren't that bad at all, to me — but holy crap if The Next Cabin Over didn't just freak the shit out of me. We also live way back in the woods, and at night it's pitch black out here and I'm always…

Just your friendly neighbourhood gif ghost, ma'am. I died in a horrible gif accident and now I haunt the comment sections of Gawker Media, teaching people about gif safety.

I truly don't know why I subject myself to this thread every year.

I do that all the time because I make bad choices.

Yeah, it was jarring to me too, just because — no, it will not be this child, it will be a different one who may or may not be similar to the one you're about to abort.

I love you, Little Thing, and I wish the circumstances were different. I promise I will see you again, and next time, you can call me Mom.

throughout the years Nike has made some astondingly ugly ass shoes. And this year looks no different

Yeah, no guarantees. My grandmother lost both her kids, and I'm an only child, so in a slightly different scenario she might not have anyone.

So wear a hoodie/sweatshirt saying "Virginia"! There, that wasn't so hard, was it?