YES.

He’ll just say he was invited but he had something more important to do. Then he’ll end up being spotted on one of his golf courses wearing his usual Depends/Dockers combo.

Some days, I am honestly surprised that I wake up and there is still electricity, trash collection, and running water. With all of the government departments in total disarray, that there is any remaining infrastructure seems a near-miracle.

That’s what an introvert being thrown on the main stage looks like. I make the same face when somebody tells the waitstaff that it’s my birthday. Then again she’s a terrible person and this is karma just vomiting into her lap so it makes me laugh

What trash. If I had a national ballet company dancing in my foyer, I would be losing my shit. I love the ballet. This bitch is all is all, why are these people dressed in tutus and not bringing me my morning vodka?

I don’t blame her for being a reluctant First Lady. It’s a largely thankless role that she probably never envisioned for herself.

I’m thinking the Queen is running dangerously low on fucks to give. “Sure, marry whoever, she’s got good hair, I guess, here’s a few baubles from the underground vault, I don’t give a shit.” Then she heads out to walk her corgi pack for the fifth time that day.

I JUST CAME HERE TO TALK ABOUT HARRY AND MEGHAN BUT NO ONE IS UP. GET UP. DON’T YOU HAVE SPECIAL ALARMS FOR THIS SORT OF THING???

Rich widow, poor widow, black widow... We’ll take whatever form we can get!

In other news, water is wet.

Good. I’m glad she’s miserable.

Every woman that goes on record to defend a man accused of sexual harassment is an asshole of the highest order. I don’t give a damn if it’s your daddy or your fucking husband. Sending women out in front to shield a wrong-doing man should induce eye-rolling in everybody. Your uteruses can’t vouch for nobody!!!…

I mean, he might as well. Denying reality has been working pretty well for him so far. I’m sure he can convince his 35% of Americans that he never said it and it never happened and the video evidence is faked by the same people who did the moon landing.

We are at war with Eastasia. We have always been at war with Eastasia

Hey guys! I totally turned down being Time Person of the Year too. I had a scheduling conflict, Disney on Ice would be in town the same week as the photo shoot.

Your entire comment is illogical and, frankly, stupid.

OMG How could we forget Keanu Reeves??

An admitted sexual predator just endorsed a child molester. Another one for the 2017 highlight reel.

Great. Do it. Bye Felicia.

I’m not justifying this behavior.