Come to Minnesota. We have cookies.

I usually shy away from this kind of statement, but it's the only applicable response I can muster: I can't, I cannot.

dear god....this is ......

yes. honey be right there.....

I've had two abortions. One was when I was in the middle of leaving my abusive (now ex-) husband at 26. So many glads and relief with that one! The second was at 30 and I wanted to keep it, but the choice was abortion or poverty. And that really isn't a fair choice. I don't like the term pro-abortion because it…

It's cute how she thinks he won't ever end up abusing her.

I have now wasted the last half hour on the DemBabies.com website and I don't care, I wanna be a Carey-Cannon! Those kids are getting HOLIDAY CHEER no matter what!

Pennsylvania has the harshest liquor laws in the country. Wine and Spirits can only be sold by the state and beer can only be sold at a beverage store that is state approved and monitored and sells basically only beer.

For the love of god, please stop comparing cigarettes to candy, chips, and soda.

Where do you live that you can buy alcohol at CVS?

umm? yes i live in chicago, yes i expect winter to be cold and also YES THIS IS BEYOND ANY WINTER MOST PEOPLE HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN THIS CITY SO WHEN WE COMPLAIN YOU KNOW IT'S BAD. FUCK WINTER.

Wanna blow your dad's mind? Little pale baby in photo one, is the same baby as photo two with her very not pale dad, and grew up to be lady in photo three (its all me so it's not creepy). Skintones, they change! And black people can have pale babies. Or they can make babies with white people like I intend to do :)

Hey now, let's not get crazy. One of my best friends is an escalator.

Hey Bristol,

I'm Black so I only wash my hair as needed anyway, but I worship at the church of coconut oil ever since I bought a gigantic tub of it at Sam's club this summer. I use it for my skin and my hair. It soaks in WAY better than baby oil and doesn't leave you feeling greasy.

Wow, you are so elevated.

If I were a fabulous celebrity, I would have INSISTED on an impromptu gown-and-tux-laden soul train line.

Poor Kasey Musgraves! Having to follow that amazing performance by Kendrick Lamar - just not fair. And in what appears to be a bedazzled lampshade to boot?

It's a great song, and how great to hear the phrase, "...on behalf of the robots..."

Nicki Minaj has a huge personality and she's not really one to kiss up to people (from what I can tell, obviously I don't know her). And you can see that in the unretouched photo, but that godawful photoshopped one just makes her look like a generic, personality-free background female.