I've told my mom we cannot discuss my dad. She has friends and if she wants to complain about him, she can go to them but that's off limit for us to discuss. She, without fail, brings his failings up again and again. And then she acts all hurt as if I'm the wrong one when I remind her of our "agreement". Because she…

WHAT. Our marriage license in Madison, WI was $120!

I kind of want to believe that Bradley Cooper is a psychopath, if only because I have always felt him to be oddly cold and inauthentic in interviews. In reality, though, he's probably a super nice person and I am just trying to validate my totally random dislike of him. Still...he's got such emotionally dead eyes when…

I totally have had the suspicion that B. Coop is a shady as fuck. And my opinion of him dropped even lower when he took his 21 yr old girlfriend to a park in Paris and read Lolita to her while she wore no make-up and overalls and looked about 11.

The fuck? I don't understand still having mom do your laundry, even in high school. I live with my parents because I'm majorly underemployed in these glorious postgrad years, but I cook for myself when I need to and have always done my own laundry.

She didn't suggest they were interchangeable; she merely listed the two in succession.

My conspiracy theory is that they kept it a secret because they are embarrassed about being boyfriend and girlfriend on That 70s Show, too. I mean, it is a little cheesy.

That picture of Jennifer Lawrence is making a VERY STRONG case for her playing Hillary Clinton in a biopic at some point.

Do you know what... I have only JUST got on board with the Jennifer Lawrence hype. Didn't quite get it before, but now, never mind having her as my BFF, I want to freaking BE her! I'm sorry, but she was the only good thing about American Hustle, she MADE that film.

Re: Lady Gaga.

...and mine wants to help me plan the wedding....

Oh honey...

My vagina made $9500 working from home this week! My vagina's last paycheck was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My neighbour's sister's vagina has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week! I can't believe how easy it was once I tried it out.

This is what I do,,,,,,,,,,…

BECAUSE KRISTY THOMAS WAS A BIG OL' LESBIAN AND WANTED TO KEEP THE BABYSITTERS CLUB A CLAMBAKE!

I think it's both poetic and entirely fitting that I just choked on my sausage sandwich while reading that.

I think its occasionally biting Bills dick on purpose during BJ.

Love it! I like it when she dresses in bright, playful stuff rather than the moody, stuffy things.

Vavava-VOOM

The worst part about Facebook mourning is that people feel they know you when they don't. I cannot forget a message I received from my late husbands acquaintance: "I'm Mr. Bells' good friend. I hope you and the kids are doing ok."

I think Jenny McCarthy's entire existence is embarrassing.