I used to mock everyone who was all “Stop raping my childhood!” every time another remake comes out.

I get it now.

Also, when did Johnny become Danny Zuko?

Of fuck. I think one of my ovaries just dropped an egg.

I’m sure Hildi can come up with an epic brushfire-themed nursery.

“Morrisey walked off the stage only 30 second into his concert Saturday after a masked woman threw a moist and tender brisket on the stage and some gravy got on his shoes.

Morrisey did not return to finish the concert. People in the front row said the brisket was delicious and just like their Bubbe used to make.”

-Tal…

Have you every seen a reunion day at a track? Retired greyhounds still love racing.

That’s why I married my husband. Everything he says sounds like a good idea.

Brit husband knows it as a rugby song, was shocked when I told him it’s roots.

Hell no. He clearly believes he knows how the world ”works” which means he’ll be a shitty lover who insists that casual sex and not monogamy is the natural state of human relationships, and that marriage is tool of the bourgeois to keep the poor down.

Yeah. Took me a while to get used to it. In the US it’s more like a combination of slut and bitch, but like somehow 1000x worse.

Whereas in the US cunt is a VERY gendered insult, Brits seem to used it mostly against men.

I married a Brit, so am almost completely desensitized to cunt now.

Trained pilots don’t crash accidentally.

Eugenics, forced sterilization, tuskegee experiments, lobotomies...

Fuck, phrenology was cutting edge science at one point.

The platonic ideal of science is progressive, but as is all things of men and women, it is always an imperfect reflection of it’s time and political attitudes.

Sorry, I forgot which is the correct snark font. Papyrus or comic sans?

His constituents are probably more upset that he can’t even do BLACKFACE right. I mean Tiger woods is not that dark, and the swoosh on his hat is backwards.

My husband was raised with guns in England. His father was a royal marine, and hubby has always wanted a nice rifle for target shooting. You know, something pretty to hang over the mantle.

I’m a jewish girl with no interest, and some real fear, of guns.

Since the election, I’ve now agreed to the gun. It helps that…

It’s the prefect intersection of expectations, racial politics, and a genuine mistake. Can’t wait to see what Breitbart manages to vomit up.

I guess I’ll find out when Trumpenscheisse tweets tomorrow morning.

Have tickets to see Moonlight on Wednesday, so... Woooo!

Also, now there’s going to be whole fucking conspiracies about how LaLa won, but they forced the Moonlight win because of PC whatever and blah, blah, blah

So is everything we create now “Jewish-inspired?”

I’m going to use that forever now. I make a delicious Jewish-inspired bacon cheeseburger.

Also, is Duke suggesting Jews are white now?

Hold the phone!

Captain America is Jewish-inspired? What does that mean? I thought he was like the American Aryan to counter the Nazi Aryan. Like We’re white, but not all of us are Nazis.

He’s done the show. Pretty sure they’ve got a good read on things that annoy him. Plus there’s the intel on the banned joke themes from the roast.

A sketch with Trump asking Daddy Putin for allowance would probably give him a stroke.