My parts are hurting just laughing about it

ok thanks a lot. birthday usurper!

well, DUH. there’s hella more dignity in phone sex work than being a hot mess on reality tv.

should i be offended or proud that the number she uses as the icky, low salary is my actual net takeaway for the year? :( some of us have student loans, bitch!

is there a PTSD recovery group for former Coachella attendees? because i feel like after reading all of these, that needs to be a thing. also, i am creating the website now and charging $4.99 for an initial consultation/screening to see which of 4 personally categories of Coachella attendee you fall into, based on the…

you know what i heard, over and over throughout high school? “you’re so... random.” wtf does that even mean? it was meant as a half compliment/half insult, but it did not make me want to hang out with any of the people who said it any more than i legally had to. i knew i was the one kid whose parents made less money…

umm my family had taco night... every night.... or tostada night... or flauta night.... really, it was just a tortilla in different iterations lol. but it was damn good and i didn’t realize it was the same food over and over again!

watched Casino Royale with my mom on Easter and lemme tell ya, it was uncomfortable for my teen brothers. especially that little beach scene where daniel craig comes out the water? both me & mom were like uncle jesse, “have mercy!”

Re: Taylor Dayne—

Americans usually could not go to Cuba (unless they go through another country on the down low, like Mexico, but wasn't typically advised). This part of the embargo between the US and Cuba was recently changed and Americans have just recently been cleared for travel to Cuba.

You had exquisite taste for a child.

Oh. My. GAWD. I just had an epiphany.

Once my mom was convinced to buy a spray on makeup machine. She asked to try it on me (i typically wear little to no makeup) and I ended up looking like a Kardashian. When I said this aloud, she took it as a compliment for her makeup application prowess. It was not so intended.

THANK YOU. As someone who is also up to date on who's who in Hollywood cuntery, that was exactly my first thought.

She really is t-shirt worthy, in terms of the statements that she makes to the general public. Keep shining, you crazy diamond, Miley Cyrus.

yo these mofuggas don't even dance, like.

it was a project, alas. based on research of cults, religions, and my 2 artist friends decided "what if we started a religion, the two of us, using vaguely feel-good language lifted from music/art movements/previous fundamentalist ideology, etc. & just started handing out flyers? how many followers could we get? can…

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oh my god that is my FAVORITE podcast! if only because they play that song every single time! oh and because Ann and Aminatou are hilarious. It's a podcast about long distance besties, women/girls who are owning it, popular culture, politics, more T Swift than i would care for, careers, just these two taking on the…

THOT = That Hoe Over There. This concludes your Chris Brown Interpretation Seminar for the week.