Celebrate for tonight, because tomorrow we have to continue pushing forward!

Like picking up trash on the side of the highway in an orange jumpsuit, for example.

But then how are they going to be able to make friends if they can’t pay for them?

There is no good reason to have fraternities or sororities at any college. And don’t tell me about the community service they do. You can do community service and not be in a fraternity or sorority.

Larry Krasner, a civil rights attorney who made his career suing law enforcement, often on pro bono cases against poor clients, was just elected District Attorney for Philadelphia. He had never been a prosecutor and was considered unelectable. Every progressive paper endorsed his other democratic opponent, a woman…

Named in the sealed indictment as “Person of Interest.”

some of the best defensive talent in the league continues to waste away, and John Elway is somehow once again looking for salvation in Osweiler’s big, dumb arm. Perhaps there’s a better place for him to look.

Before anyone makes a case for Kaep, I will remind you that Brock is quite tall

Those gifs line up nicely to the refrain of “Brock Lobster”:

It is interesting that federal funding for public schools is also distributed based on the number of butts in seats.

Watch this space for my upcoming article, “Deadspin Commenters Whose Reading Skills Are Butt.”

Ball’s not a bust yet, but his expectations should be commensurate with his draft position. Butt.

No article on private prisons is complete without a mention of lock up quotas. Or an agreement to for the state to make sure the prison is so full, or pay the prison money for not stocking it with slaves as agreed upon.

I’m forced to read this as trolling. Okafor is reeeeeally bad. He would not make the nine-man rotation if the players on this list were a(n extremely awful) NBA team.

Halfway houses reduce recidivism rates. They’re counterproductive to private prison corporations, and private prison corporations are generous donors to the Republican Party, whose policies in turn ensure a steady and returning stream of “customers” (inmates).

FTFY

I don’t know. I tried, but I couldn’t find the shape of James Dolan being launched into the sun anywhere.

I think all that remains from Kristaps to worry about is health. I still dont trust a guy that tall and thin staying healthy. Maybe he is the second coming of Lebron as an athletic freak of nature who rarely gets seriously hurt throughout his prime, but that wont stop me from worrying.

The scene where he reveals how he wanted to be a dinosaur until he was 18 is so damn funny. One of the great angry father performances in comedy, along with Rip Torn in Freddy Got Fingered (and yes, I will defend that statement.)

Richard Jenkins deserved an Oscar for this movie.