He wasn’t brought in to fix it. He was brought in because producers were scared that Miller and Lord were going off brand. I was not happy when I heard they were making a “young Han Solo” movie, but I was thrilled when they picked Lord and Miller. Now I’m somewhere in between. Ron Howard will make a handsome,…

Reading is HARD, amirite?

He won my heart by snubbing the Yankees. He’ll lose it if he goes to the Dodgers.

Clearly Ohtani needs to eat more hot dogs, drink more whiskey and smoke more cigars if he’s going to survive that workload.

I think he’s going to got to Seattle and miss the playoffs

I can’t believe there was a typo in the name of a team which has a name which translates to The The Angels Angels.

Jeez, I hope this radical philosophy doesn’t catch on. We’d see toxic levels of civility, altruism, humanity... <shudder>

“Go? We are not familiar with this word.”
— The UF football team’s offense

Also, the original video for the first stunt is longer. You can see her reaction at the end, which is priceless. I’m so thankful for a reason to stop thinking about the end of civilization for a moment and get back to why the internet was originally invented.

Too soon, man. I’m just glad Lenny Kekua didn’t live to see this.

And yet here you are...

not a good look when <insert anything Trump does or says here>

When Trump says, “There was no collusion”, there is only one possible conclusion we can draw: He doesn’t know what collusion means.

I picture him in an alternate universe reading the headline and saying, “Gaslighting is good. But do you want to know what’s great? Coallighting. We’re going to bring back coallighting,…

No.

He is employing a literary device, where words are used to create effect. In this case, the effect is emphasis. If I said your post is to comments what candy corn is to candy, that would be an analogy. If I said your post is the candy corn of comments, that would be a metaphor. However, if I said your comment is…

Congratulations! You are officially part of the problem! You will soon receive your complimentary MAGA hat, made by our good friends in China. Wear it with pride because you are, like, a smart person.

Belgium didn’t have a government for over a year and a half. It can’t be worse than what we have.

I’m sorry, are you talking about the font or the White House?

I’m sorry, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. There’s no room for fact or... science in an internet comments section.

I attended the University of Florida. Florida is a running punch line, but even native Floridians joke that they wish they could give the panhandle to Alabama. You know it’s bad when FLORIDA jokes about you as the crazy, backwards neighbor.

Alabamians look at that figure and are horrified. Who knew there were so many n——- lovers!