When the authors of the bill were contacted, the Koch brothers couldn’t even comment because they were laughing so hard.

You play for arguably the worst team in the country. You’re playing arguably the best player in the country. Great strategy, pissing off the Heisman front runner...

Did you steal that from Carlin?

I’m guessing that photo was from the Pacquiao fight, which was a historical beatdown. The look on his face says it all. What the fuck is happening? I saw a replay of this not so long ago, and even the announcers felt sorry for him. He retired after the fight. Look at his face. He was done a long, long time ago.

You mean he’s a complex person who is neither good nor bad, but rather has some admirable qualities as well as some he should quite frankly be ashamed of? How utterly unique he is!

I think that’s Doyel’s idea of a joke.

“Go on...”

“Speak English, man! What does all these technical terms mean?”

I’ve been saying all along that Magic will be as successful as a GM as he was as a coach and late night talk show host.

On a separate note, I think it’s hilarious how many people think LeBron is going to bolt to LA to play for Magic and with Lonzo and listen to Lavar mouthing off in the press every night how LeBron is…

Carlisle? Granted, he’s not doing much with the warm bodies Cuban has currently saddled with, but he’s great with actual players.

Your evidence is one team from the last millennium which happened to have Michael Jordan and a team that masks its defensive liabilities by jacking up record numbers of threes? I’m sold!

I’m nobody, so I know women don’t want to watch me jerk off. But if I was famous, I’d probably forget that. Or something.

Isn’t it perfectly normal to think that women would want to watch you whack off because you’re famous? He is really famous. Did you catch that part? My takeaway is, “Sure, he made women watch him jerk off, but hoo boy, he sure is famous!”

I’m starting to think these self-proclaimed Christians are entirely familiar with, um, Christianity.... Perhaps I shouldn’t be snarky. Surely they get the gist of the Bible’s authors, Jesus and Ronald Reagan.

We have a representative government. This is state that gave us Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, I do declayuh. Does Moore represent the views of the good people of Alabama? You bet your ass he does. His supporters are tripping over themselves to keep the “inbred hillbilly” stereotype alive. I can’t believe I’m…

I am always amazed that people CLAIM to live their lives according a book, when no one has any idea who actually wrote it. I would like to know the author of the instructions I follow to live my life.

If I said I was a brain surgeon or the Emperor of Antarctica, you’d ask to see some sort of paperwork. But any geriatric hillbilly can say I’M A CHRISTIAN and we accept it. Maybe there should be a written test, or something. These inbred fundamentalists don’t even seem to understand the gist of the Bible, let alone…

I was thinking he’s turned into the sports version of Kanye West.

I dunno, I’m starting to think he might be an asshole... I’m joking. I’ve always thought he’s an asshole.