We need more money spent on things that go “click”. The future of warfare is in cyberspace, as our BFF Vladimir Putin has demonstrated.

And if a few Jews, fags, colored, spics and trannies ended up in there...

The libtards in Hollywood totally left that part out in that Matt Damon movie. Oh, how convenient, he just happened to end up in the one place on Mars where there weren’t child slaves....

As a member of homo sapiens, I am embarrassed to share 15 percent of my DNA with him.

I think most ideas are lost on him. This guy is genuinely insane and so fucking stupid I wonder if someone ties his shoes for him. But as I’ve said many times, don’t blame the politicians, blame the voters who elect them. Many thanks to the good people of Loozyanna for sending the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket…

Heh. As if they know how to use the TV remote.

The Celtics play in Fenway now? No? So Fenway, Schmenway is pointless and nonsensical. Got it.

It’s clear, then, that Utah fans would be totally against a big name free agent choosing to play there.

I’ve resisted the urge to join Twitter. I already waste far too much time on the internet, commenting on silly pop culture stories!

Unfortunately for him, Kelly’s shot was on target.

He’s actually fortunate it went in the goal and didn’t plunk him.

These guys are already in violation. Jack? Adam? Those aren’t lacrosse names.

Come on, the guy has topped his career high before the All-Star break, which is totally not suspicious, you guys.

BREAKING: LOGAN MORRISON EARHOLED BY GOOSE GOSSAGE

That’s how I feel when I read something like this. “Did Americans help Russia hack the election?” Is this a serious question? OF COURSE THEY DID. It’s not as if the Trump cabal has been coy about it? For the love of GOD, why are the LIBRUL RAGS still tap dancing around this issue when there is so much in the public…

Consider yourself lucky for not having heard his “All of me / loves / all of you” song. I live overseas and I hear it all the time. Only the worst Western pop music gets exported. Oh, and he was also the sell-out musician that Ryan Gosling had to white-splain jazz to in La La Land.

I don’t mean to be cruel, and I…

I am a teacher, and I’ve had colleagues teachers who couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel. Teachers are just as likely to be stupid, incompetent, lazy, racist, etc. as anyone else.

My father is a Civil War buff, so as a kid we visited just about every major battlefield and went…

He is getting paid big bucks by Big Energy to spout this nonsense. He’s not even being coy about it. For the longest time I thought it was simple greed, but the rise of Kim Jong Trump has exposed a vast aquifer of stupidity. I believe Pruitt genuinely does not understand the basic concept of global warming. There’s…

Fear not. Pruitt is being controlled paid manipulated consulted by the most powerful captains of industry. They’ll get to the bottom of this. I suspect the official explanation will be the same as that for Russian hacking. It didn’t happen, but it’s Obama’s fault.

You mean you can’t choose to be famous entirely on your own terms? I had to Google her. I thought she was famous for being his wife, but apparently she is a model. I am surprised...

I don’t believe Trump is smart enough to have anything resembling a strategy or a plan, but he unwittingly tapped into a deep aquifer of rage that had been bubbling beneath the surface. The Trumpanistas are angry, and they’re not entirely sure about what, but they’re sure it isn’t their fault, so it’s just a matter of…

We’re here for you. Vent away.