Fitting the accountant saved his sharpest performance for month end.

“I can’t believe Hillary died and is having a funeral. Why can’t she just go away?”

Man Steals Neighbor’s Underwear, Leads Police On Brief Chase

Very few comments are about the actual show. Not surprising.

78 points to Gryffindor!

Loyola has just become the most successful team in NCAA tournament history. Their all-time winning percentage is now .765; Duke is at .752.

Head of Medusa?

UMBC: officially the second-best four-initialed school in NCAA tournament history!

Go get the ball! Go get it!

No it’s too soon. The families of the victims deserve privacy in their time of grief.

But only if your name is D-Money, Smoothie or Shifty and have impregnated some white girls.

Now is not the time to discuss bridge design. Thoughts and prayers for the families of the victims.

Shamiel Stevenson, sophomore Kene Chukwuka, and senior Ryan Luther all requested their releases from the program

I still don’t get the national outrage. I thought the camera would reveal serious sanitary violations in the kitchen or a human trafficking ring or something.

This isn’t any more funny just because you posted it on multiple comments.

I live life. But I do it in a way that there’s a high probability my children will still have a father tomorrow.

Not sure if you’re a parent or not, but for me, the calculation changes when you have kids. There may be some things I’d be willing to risk my life for. There are very, very, very few things I’d risk letting my children grow up fatherless for.

Exactly. How does one not bring an emergency beacon if you have young children at home?

Related note, I am incredibly jaded about the “every-time-a-person-dies-doing-something-risky-a-GoFundMe-gets-set-up-for-family” deal. These guys spent thousands of dollars climbing all over the world, and I’m sad they passed unexpectedly, but there is no fucking way I am donating money to get their kid through…

I’m a very un-generous person, but my first thought in these instances is how selfish it is to take these sorts of risks when you have young kids. That two-year-old will never know his/her father, because the father thought it was really important to climb up an ice cliff.