My current car, a late model Challenger, brings me more smiles per mile than anything I’ve ever owned. Now before you judge, it’s not straight piped or bagged, nor does it have that obnoxious “move over ==>” windshield sticker. And it’s just the 5.7. Granted I bought it as a recreational car but damn, if this…

Probably the only malaise era vehicle that makes any sense at all today. Never intended to be fun or sporty. Purely nostalgia and with some potential if you were inclined to do a drivetrain swap. So in the end, it’s a nice car but definitely not a nice price, which is what we’re playing here. Good at half the offer.

Well hold on a second there BMW, I’ve got an idea. It’s a little radical so hear me out first; why don’t you go fuck yourself?

Holy crap. I’ve flown a lot, and in a few rare instances been onboard for some less than perfect conditions, but nothing like looking out the passenger window, catching a glimpse of the ground 6 feet away (cloud cover wasn’t likely THAT dense) with no sign of an airport and then suddenly pitch up. That would have…

Air travel in Canada (international and domestic) is a complete gong show right now regardless. The Roger’s outage was a whole new level of shitshow. No debit transactions (contrary to the story above, credit cards still worked), communications down, and a whole lot of sad girls wandering around aimlessly in downtown…

Legacy taxi businesses were definitely not using technology the way they could or should have. That left the door wide open for something like Uber, no debate from me there. But coincidentally enough, I used a taxi this weekend on almost identical metrics as your experience. 18 bucks, decent tip-in for about 10…

Uber was always nothing more than an unlicensed taxi business. But they just said the words “app” and “disrupt” often enough back in their early days, so users felt like they were on some imaginary cutting edge of technology and supported them. But mostly because it was cheap. I never downloaded the app and not once…

I can think of cheaper ways to die.

Grocery stores that have ready-to-go foods (rotisserie chicken, pizza, etc) always put their kitchens near their entrance for the same reason. The pleasant smells that overwhelm you as you walk in subconsciously make you hungry and happy so you may be inclined to buy more on impulse.

At least the Craigslist map in the ad shows the blast radius when you nuke this thing from orbit. Goddamit Craig.

“...illegal if the music can be heard from 25 or fewer feet away”

“ALDI has garnered global attention this week...”

Max. Gonna go stockpile water for the Y2K conversion.

1990 still seems like only 20 years back. This century has been tough to get a handle on.  

Around 2017 or so, at a display for a Pagani Huayra, there was a guy who was providing security for the car who was offering (only) young women the opportunity to sit in “his car” and take selfies. The reason I was pretty sure he was only security was first, the “security” printed on the back of his t-shirt and then…

“Molest” as a verb outside of a sexual connotation is under-used and under-appreciated. Just saying. 

Call it a Slovenly Joseph, serve it with a fork and knife and charge $40 for it. TikTok-ers will “discover” it and it’ll be trending in a week.

February 1996, rented a convertible Corvette in Vegas and planned a round-trip drive to the Grand Canyon. Pre-GPS or anything like that so paper maps and fingers crossed. Never considered the weather in Vegas (around 70 degrees at the time) would be different from the Grand Canyon. As we got nearer to the Canyon, I…

Am I ever glad I don’t put this level of thought and analysis into my food and drink choices. What an unnecessarily complicated life.

That thing can’t be real.