Simplify things a little. Put “sentient meatbag” and cover all bases without endless discussion and agonizing over complex criteria.

I don’t target practice—

Damn! Penny looks like he got himself a really good set of teeth there in that picture. I bet he could take a serious bite out of any BEEF being thrown around.

There is no story too stupid or incredible about Woody Allen that Jezzbians won’t wholeheartedly buy into. In the Pantheon of Evil, Woody is in a three-way tie with Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein.

Does the actor feel uncomfortable being paid? It is part of the job, be it a profound and meaningful allegorical social commentary, or just “Hey! Check out them titties!”

Probably died of stupid beardface, if you ask me.

SIR - I am disgusted by the subject matter of this piece. The nubile young women in the picture are exposing portions of their anatomy in an immodest manner. Their mothers certainly must have warned them not to run with scissors. An accidental fall could, heaven forfend, injure their mammae or other parts I am…

Nice job, Idiot.

Perhaps Serena can stick a feather in her ass and call it macaroni.

Flying apples, driving oranges.

Megarectum? Damn near megakilled him.

So that stupid tweet showed up on the internetworks and several million olds immediately searched for ‘Steve Allen’ and ‘smock smock’ on youtube.

A loaf of store brand or generic white bread, a blister pack of bologna or Cotto Salami, and a packet of yellow cheese slices and you have a weeks worth of filling and nutritious lunches.

Trolls and Russians in the comments, Oh my!

Bernie’s presence in the 2016 election and his cranky querulous aggrieved geezer performance helped elect Trump. So fuck him.

Are there no vacant rooms in the Tower of London? Will no one rid us of this bothersome Markle?

Happy Brexit to Chelsea’s racist yobs.

That’s nice. Perhaps someday you will actually have a life worth living.

the-nighttime-routine-to-steal-from-your-girlfriend

the-nighttime-routine-to-steal-from-your-girlfriend

Many people are saying, it’s not their stockings that the overly grooming obsessed want stuffed, believe me.

Many people are saying, it’s not their stockings that the overly grooming obsessed want stuffed, believe me.