I’m not interested in saving the store money. I’m interested in saving me money. Factored into the price I pay for groceries is the cost of a store employee scanning and bagging my purchases. It’s part of the cost of running a grocery store. I ain’t doing no scanning or bagging.

You may love a socialist nanny state, but real Americans don’t want to give up our freedoms to rules imposed by monolithic government agencies.

Just shut the fuck up, homeslice. You’re an entrepeneur, a leader, a successful businessman, an ambassador to the sport, you’re so fucking wonderful you fart rainbow pixie dust. Talk faster and tell us more about the wealthy and important people you know. Seriously, stop being so modest and self-effacing. Just let…

Finally! Thanks for bringing the ‘white.’ It took far longer than usual.

As an exercise in self-approbation this was well done . If it was an audition piece for a job at Jizzmodo Media it’s wasted. Everybody here is going to be waiting on tables pretty soon, once private equity fucks them in the ass without lube, as it will.

What the fuck is with this shitty video clip that goes into a fucking 2 minute ad that can’t be dismissed in order to replay the original? Somebodies asses need to be Easter Bunnied. Fucking motherfuckers.

Bad writing alert. Proofreading required.

Like Pete Davidson I struggle with a serious mental disorder. I have difficulty determining if Pete Davidson is more annoying than he is funny. I’m pretty sure he is not very funny but it’s tough making a determination.

Would you believe that it’s difficult to monetize intersectional feminist media?” the editors rhetorically asked.

We finally have a new definition of chutzpah.

This is appaling and completely unacceptable. If they are qualified the naval academy should be required to accept transfer students.

Kanye DREW it.

Because she’s a sloppy and sensationalist writer and a pathetic click-hound?

[guess]...what the new Woody Allen movie is about...

Asshole then, asshole now. Asshole forever.

Giving Shep McAllister ideas. Goodbye weighted blanket, hello gourd.

I have it on good authority that Bill Maher sometimes watches the old Woody Allen movies...and occasionally laughs.

Still hanging on to authorial intent there are we, Captain Van Winkle?

It seems to me to be a case of cross cultural misunderstanding. Asians understand that a small gift to ease a process is natural. Poor Asians give a box of fancy cookies or a little statuette, rich Asians buy a house. It’s no big deal. Frankly I don’t understand why everyone is so touchy about appearances. There’s no…