The wizards have created an app that causes muggles to be distracted from all of the magic going on around them. To the muggles, the app is the only thing worth paying attention to.

Yeah, that didn’t...um...work out.

From henceforth we shall refer to any screen set by Mr. Green as a Dick Pick and Roll.

Marriotts Of Fire

Every episode is her in a new disguise, flaunting her neck-cleavage and trying to entice them to bite?

Sounds more like a spin on The Omega Man.
Also

“In a world where (minotaurs) have taken over the (mall), humanity must (wave red capes) to (save money during Sears Summer Days).”

I work in “corporate finance” is just code for you being a fucking secretary peon. So go fetch somebody’s lunch orders and shut the fuck up.

99.9% of the finance world.

Not a troll at all. I still love Apple, but the case for continuing to be locked into their ecosystem is becoming less and less compelling. That’s on Apple for not keeping an emphasis on innovation. Point me to a single Apple product innovation in the last 3 years. I mean that seriously; what have they done? The…

Interesting, but the hole in your theory is that while Thanos doesn’t stand up, neither Grimace nor Barney are capable of sitting down.

A big block of ice is an iceberg so that thing really should be called a Zoidberg.

it is in fact a colonial organism

Thes jokes died such a long time ago, grandpa.

They’ve got a death lineup. Possession dies with Melo. Possession dies with Rose. Noah’s knee dies. Porzingis’ career dies. Fans are dead inside. Lot of death all around.

Now, THIS is a type of message you save the comic sans font for!

Hey, republicans buy basketball shoes too.

Those aren’t going to do jack shit.

Needs this:

Man, this shit just eats you up, doesn’t it? Bitter losers always find excuses. Your team took a big fat shit and couldn’t hang. Maybe they were too busy planning the parade? Maybe they were too busy calling LeBron a bitch? Maybe the they were too busy wondering if the Cleveland visitor’s locker room still smelled…

It’s hard to believe there’s a water shortage in California with all that crying. Take your anger out on Harrison Barnes. Bad officiating didn’t force Golden State to choke. Bad officiating also didn’t routinely send Curry’s layup attempts into the fifth row.