And she still wouldn’t fuck you with someone else's.

Let’s not fall into an assessment of who is or isn’t rapeable. Damon’s frame for this is fucked up. We don’t have to use it.

I don’t know, I think this slogan is Wisely About Consideration and Kindness, Yet Overt.

NOBODY THINKS THIS IS A REAL THING, ADRASTRA.

The best thing about Chris Pratt is Andy Dwyer.

NYC would tell you to fork off. Or at least the old NYC would. Or knife you.

They are almost certainly fine. But if they ever kill a bird in a spectacular fashion, or fall into the toilet after you’ve let the yellow mellow, or come down with a case of fleas that won’t respond to the usual treatments, or refuse to back down from a skunk encounter, or get old and are too fat/arthritic to clean…

Yikes! That’s more than a gallon of coffee.

Hey, my husband took pictures like that. Seriously, some people just took their kids to the store, had them try on something, hid the tags, brought them over to the store studio and if he didn’t see the tags (and there wasn’t another employee chasing them) he’d take the pictures. And then they’d go back to the…

“Why would the price even matter if he’s getting a free drink?”

I know this is going to offend you, but I can't help it: Your parents might occasionally be cranky old assholes. Whether or not a caretaker is "in their payroll" doesn't make it ok.

Just for the decaf and the heavy whipping cream over ice... Fuck that guy. He probably also wants a non-fat eggnog Latte.

I disagree with this and think they would have zero problem with kicking him out. “The Customer Is Always Right’ is a long dead policy and is only ever quoted by disgruntled customers who are mostly wrong, usually pulling a scam.

I would make his order wrong. About 15 times in a row. I learned passive-aggressiveness from my mom. She is the reigning Empress.

Yeah I am the opposite of Type A so I guess that is why this totally confuses the shit out of me. I would lose the accordian folder in my pile of laundry. ;-)

I just want to know how he stores them. His wallet can’t be that big. Maybe a Rolodex? Or maybe he keeps a stack on his car and once he uses one, he puts it in the back?

Why would the price even matter if he’s getting a free drink?

And what is that guy cooking? A piece of white bread?

That’s the dream, right? A man who cooks for you and can’t spell “our” correctly.