"James Higgins". "Kevin Fitzgerald".

Please remember that you are on Gawker, and stop presenting both sides of the story.

So, the match was over in about 30 seconds?

No, that’s wrong. Falcao’s knee was through before he got to Old Trafford. Di Maria clearly never wanted to be there and played accordingly. Great player with no desire—he was terrible, absolutely terrible at United—I can’t remember a player at United that I’ve been more disappointed in. But you can’t blame LVG or…

If there was ever a time for Fergie Time, it's now.

Clearly Billy has never been to Millwall.

England’s (and, therefore, the world’s) most fervent, fiery, boisterous, and irascible fan base.

I frigging hate Liverpool, but they have the right guy in Klopp. And the Europa League is a lot tougher than most people give it credit for. Though I don’t have it in me to offer them congratulations, I think they’re on the right path, so well done, Pool. And I think I just threw up a little.

It's an old hunters tradition to cut off the tail and present it to the hunter as a sign of "ownership". Also, the hair on the tail is used to create bracelets. Not saying it's right—I hate seeing a dead elephant—but that's the reason.

Bandwagoners follow, y'know, teams that win.

No way. Hardly anyone watches as it is. Who's going to watch a second division club? In the US, second division=minor league.

He's a man who died tragically young, and his music meant a lot to many people. Maybe not to people in your crowd, but that's OK. That's all you need. Let the rest of it go.

It would have been more impressive if he had actually done something. But he didn't. Give it up.

Five guys standing around, and one of them standing on his own goalie's stick.

They're both in the Hockey Hall of Fame. So, no, you're wrong.

So your mom lets you stay up late, that's fantastic! The rest of us have jobs.

Why does Ott even carry a stick?

Who cares? Let her drink what she wants. The only thing worse than writing an article like this is me commenting on it.

In the future, please refrain from rationally presenting both sides of an issue and coming to a reasonable conclusion. Have you forgotten that you're on Gawker?

Swing and a miss.