[T]he girl, she dropped her purse, that’s when she came in my face.

“Whoa whoa! You can plan parenthood?”

Fine amounts are most certainly not arbitrary. Roger Goodell spins the NFL’s Official “Wheel’O’Fines” and wherever you land is what you owe. Not sure how else you would do it.

There’s only one thing to be done: trade him to the Pelicans for 9 conditional 2nd round picks in the years 2049-2057 with the condition that he change his name to N’Awlins.

Can’t wait to see Joe Smith III take on Hopkins in 2030

Are we sure Richard Sherman isn’t a fucking asshole?

That’s what they originally thought, but it turns out he was just playing dead.

Kind of a morbid thought, but, considering he died only a few hours before tipoff, were these shirts made (or at least designed) in advance?

Well, I’ll boycott the Holiday Bowl either way, just to be safe.

No Holiday Bowl??

At least for the last guy, sure.

Because we need to get our minds off things for a bit, and because I think Craig Sager would want us to smile:

2016 won’t let us keep anything nice.

Some people just REALLY want to get out of Detroit.

WMU coach Steve Hawkins went on to say he was disappointed to be losing a player who was clearly one of his best shooters.

3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, big dining room, big kitchen, bonus room/man cave, big back yard, 2 car garage, 14 hours from NYC. $1100 month mortgage.

Their to-do list that night:

Yes how dare full grown adults be able do do something legal

Not sure how they’ll enforce this rule easily either. Did they ban those herbal chews/dips too? Can easily imagine a player just buying one of those herbal tins and stuffing his cope in there. Will they test for nicotine? Will they check mouths?

Louisiana needs more weed and fewer guns. Let’s all chillax, peoples.