I thought you retired?

If you’re not in NYC, go to a place like Big Lots. Menard’s often has cables on sale. Don’t buy cables at Best Buy or any other big box electronics store. Everyone knows this right?

JESUS CHRIST DAD USE 807 NOT 7 YOU ARE PAYING COMCAST $250 A MONTH

I believe you forgot the step where you get free food samples.

CBS should throw up some “Animal House”–style freeze-frame captions at the end of that Patriots-Cowboys game.

Which is why it’s been likened to insider trading. Obviously, they aren’t trading stocks. But they (allegedly, since we don’t know if they actually used the info) know who/what to “buy” in the game/market based on material, nonpublic information. So I don’t see how likening it to insider trading is “not quite right.”…

One small issue with this: the advantage of what Ethan Haskell purportedly knew was not what players would constitute a good value with respect to the salary cap, which is baked into the public salaries themselves, but rather which players had the best chances of not being on other teams altogether.

Cary Grant would party so hard in his grey flannel suit at South by Southwest.

If you’re ESPN, why be forced to set your programming lineup months in advance and not be able to change? That sort of kills the excitement of how sports starts anew each morning. They can make real money depending on how the ratings go up and down. Let them go day-by-day.

On the bright side, everyone is talking about Seattle’s bats in October. That never happens...

Well, colour me surprised.

To be fair, it’d be cruel to make Buffalo fans snort their coke off a mirror.

fun fact: regardless of whether your custom character is black, white or asian, you have the same family and backstory.

“But what I do have are a very hot set of takes, takes I have acquired over a very long career. Takes that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you apologize now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will threaten…

“These players are so sensitive...” Stephen A. scoffs before threatening an NBA player who said he wouldn’t talk to him.

“You’re not ‘old’ enough to get that call Cam. I’d give that call to an ‘old’ quarterback like Peyton Manning or Tom Brady or Andrew Luck or Ryan Tannehill or Nick Foles or Johnny Manziel, or Flacco, or Julian Edelman if they call his number for a passing play, but never to a ‘young’ guy like you or Michael Vick or…

JEB! is going to be the republican nominee. He’s got the money, he’s got the name, he’s got the backers. He is slightly not entirely insane. He wins via the lowest bar ever.

“Everybody’s taking our jobs!”