Oh, please.  The civilized among us drill holes in the floorboard and run a catheter up to the driver’s seat.

I have a photo of that guy...

It wont work for me because it starts at $70k after tax credits.

This EV won’t work for me because the commute to my job is 20 miles each way and once I get there they don’t give me enough money to buy this car.

Everyone dunking on Kotakus headline is pretty much right. Like you don’t have to be immersed in the nuance of the decision to see Apple is praising the ruling and Epic isn’t to come away with the general idea that Apple won a pretty big victory here for their business model.

They simply can’t block an app from giving you a link to an outside web page to buy things. If you want to provide actual in-app purchases, it still has to go through Apple, 30% and all (or whatever the cut is after the recent changes). And no, you can’t force Apple to let you have your app on their store the same way…

The only part where Epic won was a ruling saying that Apple was violating Cali’s anti-competition laws. The only change was that Apple cannot block/prohibit devs from communicating or providing links to payments that are outside of iOS. Which Apple already did a couple weeks back. So this case was very sided for…

Everything considered, Apple WON. 9 out of 10 counts.

Not even half a win for Epic.

Apple still won on 9 out of 10 counts. The only thing that changed is that they can’t prohibit publishers from providing links to outside payment methods.

I would love to hear the thought behind the title since Epic won one claim and lost every single other one.. and has to pay out Millions to Apple, meanwhile they were found guilty of breech of contract and Apple doesn’t have to let them back on the platform so who cares if Epic won the outside money issues because…

They fought for the moon and came away with a wheel of cheese. Not exactly a great victory, 

more like a quarter win because the only thing the judge ruled was that apple couldn’t block 3rd part payments, Epic lost everything else and Apple can still keep them or anyone else they want out of their App Store/devices if they want.

Theres a lot more in the ruling and I am surprised Kotaku doesnt mention that. Yeah Apple lost but it could have been much worse. Epic has to pay for breaking the rules and Apple is not a monopoly according to the judge. Also it was lawful for Apple to block Fortnite, so Apple decides if Fortnite comes back on the App…

In fairness, the only thing sites like Kotaku really cared about was the in-app purchases part.

The fact that Apple won everything else is apparently unimportant lol. Like how if I’m correct Epic has to pay Apple like 30% of it’s revenue it made from like October or something lol. 

You have to add the rest of the ruling though, Epic won’t be able to make use of any of the payment ruling so far because Apple doesn’t have to let fortnite back on the App Store and they don’t have to give Epic back their developer account.

Yeah.. that headline is as misleading as aTrump tweet.

You didn’t mention that Apple won every single other count besides this one. 

I really hope the second season is good. Jean-Luc Picard is one of the best characters in television history, and deserves a lot better than the mess we got in season one.

Michael Chabon gets to write TNG fanfiction and get it produced. It must be cool to be him, but somewhere there’s probably a 20 year old writing better TNG fanfiction.